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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults
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If we observe the current trend of parenting, we can see that every parent wants their child to be the best at everything. The
kids
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 these days are way
more busy
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busier
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 in doing and learning new skills in comparison with the previous generation. I personally believe that
competition
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 among
kids
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 creates
alot
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a lot
 of pressure on them and they can never be as fruitful
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adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 as in comparison with the
adult
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 who was taught to co-operate from a very young age.
Lets
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Let's
Let us
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 discuss
about
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apply
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competition
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 among children. Some people feel that if they teach their child to compete from a young age, they will be ready to survive in
this
Linking Words
competetive
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competitive
 world as an
adult
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. People need to understand that healthy
competition
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 is good for
the
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apply
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society but a
competition
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 where
one
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 person thinks bad for the other or
envys
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envy
envoys
envies
 other, is never an option. In my opinion, I feel the sense of
competition
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 in
kids
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 will not be beneficial for them when they turn adults because they will think of every single person who is their colleague or a friend as a
competitior
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competitor
 and they will constantly try to
over power
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overpower
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 them. If by chance they don't succeed in doing so,
then
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 they may end up feeling
frustated
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frustrated
 and it can lead to depression.
On the other hand
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, there are people who teach their
kids
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 to be
co-operative
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cooperative
show examples
 with their friends and learn to share and focus on
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teamwork
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team work
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teamwork
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 rather than competing with them. I truly believe that a kid grown up in
such
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 an atmosphere will positively think of everyone as a friend and it can help them to communicate better and be
alot
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a lot
 more social as an
adult
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. Our society needs
such
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 kind of adults who helps
one
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 another in every situation and never think of excelling alone and it is only possible if we teach our
kids
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 to co-operate with each other
since
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from
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 a very young age.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a cricket match
one
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 side losses and the other side wins, but if we observe closely, every single time
one
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 thing will be constant i.e., the team that plays better as a group wins the match. A player may score a century in a match but if his
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teammates
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team mates
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teammates
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 do not perform well, their side will
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lose
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loose
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lose
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 the match every single time.
Submitted by naman.gadhia on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
What to do next:
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