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Band 4

some people use the internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. is it a positive or negative development? give your own opinion and examples from your experience.

#people #internet #search #development
The
Internet
 has become a vital part of today's era in every field. Life is incomplete without the
internet
. Some people think looking after medical problems on the
internet
 is not good. But I believe it is a great idea to know about
ours
Correct the word
our
show examples
 medical issues by ourselves with the help of the
internet
. First of all, to hunt something to get knowledge about our benefits is good enough even though it's a disease, medical and treatment so it's good to have information about medical problems which population are facing every day.
Moreover
, nowadays nation is suffering
a
Change preposition
from a
show examples
big pandemic coronavirus even though in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 countries people are dying without treatment
such
 as
Indian
Correct your spelling
India
show examples
, Italy and many more so, in
this
 case,
this
 case most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people just try to search
cure
Change preposition
for cure
show examples
 and prevention on the
internet
 which is quite helpful for them.
On the other hand
, some public argued that some of the time
internets
Fix the agreement mistake
internet
show examples
 is not right to guide us
Change preposition
in the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 inappropriate way to heal any kind of illness so in that case
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
follow
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 way
consequently
 they get a
more worst
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
 situation
as
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 they had before. Sometimes nations don't
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 more attention to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
their medical issues because they have blind faith in
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
 searches which sometimes
showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 a disease not deadly and
then
 they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 trapped and sack their lives.
Overall
, it can be observed that the
internet
 is a part of hunting medical issues so it's not a bad idea to have a look to get well soon if something better showing on the
internet
.
Submitted by khushirandhawa147 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks proper logical structure. It is important to organize your ideas in a clear and sequential manner to improve coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are strong and clearly present your opinion and main points.
Task Achievement
You need to provide a more complete response to the task by developing your main points with more detail and depth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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