Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Now-a-days
Correct the word
Nowadays

The compound Now-a-days appears to be incorrect. Consider changing it to the closed compound nowadays.

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adventurous
sports
like skiing, sky diving is becoming popular with many tourist places offering these
sports
. Some people believe that these
sports
are extreme and involve tremendous risk and
therefore
the government should ban them. To a large extent, I disagree with
this
view,
instead
of being banned these
sports
should be regulated by Government, and safety standards should be strengthened.
First
of
all
Add a comma
,all

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase First of all. Consider adding a comma.

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every sport involves some kind of danger,
for instance
, if we talk about cricket, tennis, or badminton there are chances of multiple injuries, wrestling can
also
cause serious injuries to the player. Though it cannot be denied that skiing, sky diving is far more threatening as compared to other
sports
, yet, it's of equal importance and is being played and accepted globally. There are many players who are trained skiers or divers and they participate in these
sports
. Like any other sport, these
sports
require thorough training, considering the life-threatening nature of these
sports
.
Secondly
, due to the increasing popularity of these
sports
not only professionally, but as adventure activities, tourism at places offering these
sports
under the guidance of trained professionals has scaled up.
For instance
, a small hill station in Auli in India which offer skiing activities to tourist has seen a tremendous increase in the footfall of tourist visiting the hill station in recent years.
Such
sports
attract tourism which in turn helps the economy to grow.
However
, the safety in
such
sports
should not be compromised and government should regulate these
sports
and ensure that these activities are conducted under expert guidance and all safety measures are being followed. Considering the above, these
sports
despite being dangerous can be allowed if proper precautions are taken and are performed under the guidance of trained professionals.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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