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Band 6.5

Some people believe that there are various reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. Do you agree or disagree?#

#people #person #company #money #reason #motivation
These days, the types of jobs a person can do vary and companies are finding creative ways to make use of the manpower available to the best case possible to grow their businesses. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 money is important literally in everyone's life, there are certain groups of people who are willing to stay in a
company
 for a very long
time
 other than financial reasons.
Therefore
, in
this
 essay, I will
further
 discuss
this
 statement. The reason why an individual would stay for a long period of
time
 could be because of their family commitments.
For example
, if a woman is married and has kids and
also
 already bought a house in a particular area might prefer to stay in the same
job
 as long as possible because she needs a stable
job
 to secure her family life. Not only that, for a woman, distance is very important because she might need to attend to her kids as soon as possible at any
time
 of the day. The nearer the
company
 is to her home, the more likely she will stick to that same working place for a very long
time
.
In addition
, an optimistic working environment will
further
 encourage any person to stay long in that
company
.
This
 is because society is prioritizing mental health these days and the
job
 itself is already stressful because they need to meet the target by the end of the month.
Therefore
, when an individual is surrounded by non-toxic colleagues and bosses, they can go home and tackle other issues in
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
 and community.
Besides
, the work timing flexibility of the
job
also
 makes people willing to settle in that
company
 for a very long
time
. In conclusion, it is not wrong to prioritize money to stay in a place but having good mental health and a good working environment is
also
 important.
Submitted by coke_sars on

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introduction conclusion present
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear thesis statement outlining the focus of your essay.
relevant specific examples
Relevant and specific examples support your points well, making your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • personal fulfillment
  • career development
  • growth opportunities
  • continuous learning
  • training
  • promotions
  • positive work environment
  • supportive management
  • good relationships
  • colleagues
  • benefits
  • perks
  • health insurance
  • retirement plans
  • flexible working hours
  • company culture
  • values
  • recognition
  • rewards
  • job security
  • stability
  • economic uncertainty
  • employee loyalty
What to do next:
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