As well as making money, businesses should also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities

There have been growing concerns concerning most

businesses

that are inclined to be obsessed with considering profitability.

However

, some

people

may have claimed that

businesses

should play a vital role in fostering social

responsibilities

. Personally, I agree with

this

suggestion since

businesses

influence

consumers

' choices which are related to social

issues

Firstly

, corporations should set an example, in advance, of addressing social

responsibilities

. Most

consumers

in general seem to follow the company's responsible purposes when they are shopping. To exemplify

this

statement, if

consumers

buy products from sustainable brands, affecting

people

's emotions that align with contributing to sustainable

responsibilities

For example

, Ganni, a famous global fashion brand that pursues an eco-friendly identity and uses only organic fabrics,

people

tend to buy clothes from

this

brand these days, because using

this

brand seems connected to reacting responsibly for the environment.

Consequently

, I believe

businesses

that contribute to social

issues

will be followed by individuals to drive them to think of society as a whole.

Moreover

, these

businesses

can not only prevent social problems but

also

improve profits simultaneously. Corporations have solved problems regarding education,

for instance

. By donating money to disadvantaged students or remote areas where

people

are unable to access schools, some

businesses

allow

people

to learn high-quality education,

hence

, facilitating high standards of living and enhancing the public's satisfaction.

Additionally

, by mitigating social

issues

, the loyalty of

consumers

and the image of brands will be raised, making

businesses

more lucrative in the future. Individuals might be able to consider companies that charge in addressing ongoing social challenges as good companies. In conclusion,

although

making money is the main purpose of business, I firmly believe that corporations have

responsibilities

to social well-being because they seem effective at addressing

issues

as big organizations rather than individuals. Being a socially responsible business can

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

our societal well-being in the future.

Submitted by kchengii on Tue May 21 2024

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Introduction

Your essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion. However, the introduction could be made more engaging by rephrasing the sentence: 'There have been growing concerns concerning most businesses that are inclined to be obsessed with considering profitability.' Consider rewording it for a smoother flow.

Coherence

To improve the coherence of your essay, try to use a greater variety of linking words and phrases. This will help your ideas flow more smoothly and make the essay easier to follow.

Examples

Make sure to elaborate on your examples slightly more. For instance, in the paragraph discussing Ganni, you could add more details on how the brand’s sustainable practices influence consumer behavior specifically.

Focus

Your essay stays focused on the topic throughout and you provide a strong argument supporting the idea that businesses should have social responsibilities.

Examples

You have used relevant examples and they effectively support your main points.

Conclusion

Your conclusion nicely wraps up the essay and reiterates your stance effectively.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social responsibilities
Corporate social responsibility
Ethical behavior
Societal impact
Stakeholders
Profit-driven
Public perception
Environmental sustainability
Community development
Human rights
Workplace safety
Altruism
Balanced approach
Accountability
Consumer loyalty

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As well as making money, businesses should also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Many countries are experiencing population growth, and need to build more homes. Some say that new homes should constructed in existing cities while others argues that new towns should be built to accommodate the growing population. What are the advantages and disadvantages of these point of view

You have lost an item of value on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letter describe the item explain where and when you left it say what action you would like the company to take

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?