As well as making money, businesses should also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities

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There have been growing concerns concerning most

businesses

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that are inclined to be obsessed with considering profitability.

However

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, some

people

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may have claimed that

businesses

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should play a vital role in fostering social

responsibilities

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. Personally, I agree with

this

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suggestion since

businesses

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influence

consumers

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' choices which are related to social

issues

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Firstly

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, corporations should set an example, in advance, of addressing social

responsibilities

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. Most

consumers

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in general seem to follow the company's responsible purposes when they are shopping. To exemplify

this

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statement, if

consumers

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buy products from sustainable brands, affecting

people

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's emotions that align with contributing to sustainable

responsibilities

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For example

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, Ganni, a famous global fashion brand that pursues an eco-friendly identity and uses only organic fabrics,

people

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tend to buy clothes from

this

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brand these days, because using

this

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brand seems connected to reacting responsibly for the environment.

Consequently

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, I believe

businesses

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that contribute to social

issues

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will be followed by individuals to drive them to think of society as a whole.

Moreover

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, these

businesses

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can not only prevent social problems but

also

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improve profits simultaneously. Corporations have solved problems regarding education,

for instance

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. By donating money to disadvantaged students or remote areas where

people

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are unable to access schools, some

businesses

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allow

people

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to learn high-quality education,

hence

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, facilitating high standards of living and enhancing the public's satisfaction.

Additionally

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, by mitigating social

issues

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, the loyalty of

consumers

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and the image of brands will be raised, making

businesses

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more lucrative in the future. Individuals might be able to consider companies that charge in addressing ongoing social challenges as good companies. In conclusion,

although

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making money is the main purpose of business, I firmly believe that corporations have

responsibilities

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to social well-being because they seem effective at addressing

issues

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as big organizations rather than individuals. Being a socially responsible business can

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

our societal well-being in the future.

Submitted by kchengii on Tue May 21 2024

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Introduction

Your essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion. However, the introduction could be made more engaging by rephrasing the sentence: 'There have been growing concerns concerning most businesses that are inclined to be obsessed with considering profitability.' Consider rewording it for a smoother flow.

Coherence

To improve the coherence of your essay, try to use a greater variety of linking words and phrases. This will help your ideas flow more smoothly and make the essay easier to follow.

Examples

Make sure to elaborate on your examples slightly more. For instance, in the paragraph discussing Ganni, you could add more details on how the brand’s sustainable practices influence consumer behavior specifically.

Focus

Your essay stays focused on the topic throughout and you provide a strong argument supporting the idea that businesses should have social responsibilities.

Examples

You have used relevant examples and they effectively support your main points.

Conclusion

Your conclusion nicely wraps up the essay and reiterates your stance effectively.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social responsibilities
Corporate social responsibility
Ethical behavior
Societal impact
Stakeholders
Profit-driven
Public perception
Environmental sustainability
Community development
Human rights
Workplace safety
Altruism
Balanced approach
Accountability
Consumer loyalty

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As well as making money, businesses should also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by other in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages outweighed the advantages?

Being a celebrity- such as famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?

Many people these days have computer, laptops, telephones at their homes for work. Do you thibk, working from home has more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons

With The Increasing Use And Development Of New Technology, Many Machine Are New Able To Do The Work Which People Used To Perform. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?