IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion clothes and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

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There is no doubt that those days we see the bloggers consumer the products and popularity of fashion which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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denotes the formal high-quality life.In my ,opinion
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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 completely agree that communities copying each other goods for
a legal ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
legal ways
a legal way

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun ways in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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 of numerous designs.
First
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of all, humans are highly up-to-date for many things.From birth,the child used to replay their parents move
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 eating or walking
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 for remember to forget something by mistake.
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,in teenagers when they see someone buy a car
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 and he wants it so bad that will affect their personality.So, we should give them some advice about copying that you must be hardworking for a long time to become wealthy to get whatever you want.
Otherwise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in a physical ,way the human reaction is completely clear via copying it just because they like it for the state of the art way.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, consumer goods
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 gain popularity based on copying. In other ,words people feel the need to possess an item they must have seen with a friend or even a stranger. Manufacturers take advantage of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 fact to boost their patronage by using celebrities as brand ambassadors, causing the masses to believe that these public figures make use of a product.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in turn affects sales. A recent study carried out in Lagos showed that the sales of a pair of headphones had a 70% rise in sales when the company signed an endorsement deal with a famous musician. In conclusion, it is proven that people do a lot of copying when it comes to general consumer items and clothing.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, companies and manufacturers have taken advantage of that for a long time.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inherently social creatures
  • acceptance and validation
  • peer influence
  • fashion trends
  • consumer behavior
  • media influence
  • celebrities
  • social media platforms
  • trend adoption
  • mass production
  • fast fashion
  • accessibility
  • unique identity
  • mainstream trends
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