Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today's time, part of society believes that funding music, dance, and art classes should be done by the ministry for the country's future.

However

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, the other part is in favour of private expenditures done by small businesses or their families. I will discuss both views in

this

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essay and present mine, which is totally on the side of the first part of society. On the one hand, if extracurricular activities and learning are funded and expanded by the authorities of the state is considered beneficial.

This

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is because the ministry holds the power to promote and expand the country's culture through music dance, and arts efficiently.

Moreover

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, they can organize and handle free learning for a greater number of people in a better way as they have state funds.

For example

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this

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has been always noticed, a government that invests in its heritage results in good standing for the future.

On the other hand

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, investments done by small businesses, schools and parents of children can considerably open doors for rich knowledge.

In other words

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, private tutors give more attention to pupils

due to

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fewer number of students and better salaries. To add on, parents and school officers can design and modify their schedules,

according to

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the school curriculum as tutors who are hired are flexible.

For instance

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, Parents can decide the timings for their child's schedule for all dance, music and arts divisions by keeping in mind their school burden and exams as only they are organizing.

To conclude

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, learnings organized by personal investments, are good and quality and more adaptable but lessons organized by law are beneficial on a larger scale for more masses.

tanyajasleen19012003Sun Feb 11 2024

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coherence & cohesion

Be sure to connect your ideas more clearly using a range of linking words and phrases to improve the readability and flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural development
socio-economic backgrounds
state-sponsored
national identity
heritage
preservation
cultural enrichment
creative expression
balanced education
specialized offerings
market demand
innovation
personal investment
commitment
learning experience
unequal access
hybrid approach
vibrant
equitable
arts ecosystem

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Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer game, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?