Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
There are many highly risky for human health.
people
discuss
that extreme Correct pronoun usage
who discuss
sports
should be prohibited due to the risks for people
's health. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with this
argument, performing or attending these sports
such
as skiing, bungee-jumping and parachuting are a choice of an individual and banning them is against the freedom of human
even though these Fix the agreement mistake
humans
sports
Add a missing verb
are
To begin
with, there are many stories about people
who lost their lives while climbing the mountains, skiing or paragliding. Moreover
there are many Add a comma
,Moreover
people
have
to amputate the cause of these adventure Correct pronoun usage
who have
sports
. It is understandable that the unfortunate consequences forces
Change the verb form
force
people
to think
take some cautions as banning or limiting the attendance for these Add the particle
tothink
activities
. For
example
climbing Add a comma
,example
the
Everest is one of the most extreme Correct article usage
apply
activities
in the world and every year thousands of athlete's are climbing the most ruthless mountain in
Change preposition
on
the
earth to experience the excitement of being Correct article usage
apply
the
top of the world. Change preposition
at the
However
, it is known
fact that many sportsmen were died or lost a limb while climbing due to the brutal conditions in the mouth even though some of them were very experienced in their branch.
Correct article usage
a known
However
, I believe that prohibiting to attend
Change the verb form
attending
the
adventure Correct article usage
apply
sports
not
prevent any Add a missing verb
does not
loses
and in Replace the word
losses
contract
may cause more Add an article
the contract
a contract
loses
due to Replace the word
losses
illegalisation
. If authorities would ban Correct your spelling
legalisation
to
participate performing these Fix the infinitive
apply
sports
there could be blackmarkets
for Correct your spelling
black markets
black market
people
who want to experience these. On the other hand
to participate these
Change preposition
in these
sports
is a choose
of an Replace the word
choice
individuals
and any kind of prohibition would be a Fix the agreement mistake
individual
violate
Replace the word
violation
to
the freedom of Change preposition
of
people
. In my opinion, people
can choose to do any activities
they want but understand the potential consequences clearly. That's why authorities should explain and share the risks transparently and inform people
for
past experiences.
In conclusion, undoubtedly extreme Change preposition
of
sports
can cause serious
Add an article
the serious
a serious
result
to Fix the agreement mistake
results
people
's life
but it shouldn't forget that the decision of participation Replace the word
lives
is belongs
Change the verb form
is belonged
people
.That's why in my opinion Change preposition
to people
people
should argue how to make these activities
more secure before than thought of banning
.Correct pronoun usage
thembanning
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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