IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that a zoo has no useful purpose. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

#people #zoo #purpose
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It is argued that captivating
animals
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 in cages for the public to see them
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not justified. I completely disagree with
this
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 as a
zoo
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 can save endangered species from extinction,
in addition
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 to that, it supports states economically and it is a helpful educational tool. A valid reason to have a
zoo
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 is to preserve rare species that are on the verge of extinction. The Arabian Leopard,
for example
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, is a leopard subspecies
that is
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 critically endangered as there are only less than 200 ones all over the world.
Hence
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, keeping some of them captivated is a must in order to save them. Another point to consider is that zoos provide an economic boost to their community.
In other words
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, it is a place that families usually visit to spend the day there and enjoy seeing
animals
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.
As a result
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,
this
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 contributes to the country’s economy through the entrance or tickets fees paid upon entering a
zoo
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.
Finally
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, children and youngsters can educationally benefit from keeping
animals
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 behind bars by having the opportunity to see them in reality. To illustrate, Modern School in Egypt regularly arranges a school trip for its students to visit Giza’s
zoo
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;
therefore
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, the teachers can have a better chance to educate youngsters about various types of
animals
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. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that keeping
animals
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 in unnatural environments has many benefits by preserving them from extinction,
additionally
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, it supports countries financially and represents a useful source of education for children.
Submitted by khaledreda1 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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