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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. Do or texting do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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Music
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 plays a role in our life irrespective of cultures,
genre
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 and
ages
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 and it can convey some emotions. According to many
people
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,
music
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 can bring
people
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 together, whether they are of different
ages
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 or cultures. I can only partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I will discuss it. To
beging
Correct your spelling
begin
 with,
music
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 is a good way of making
people
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 feel happy, relaxed and light, but it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 always necessary that everyone
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
show examples
 the same
genre
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 of song.
Music
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 can be enjoyed by
people
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 even they are from different cultures or
ages
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,
for instance
Linking Words
, when you are
in
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at
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 a party,
such
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 as
wedding
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a wedding
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 or birthday celebration,
certainly
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,certainly
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 you
listen
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tolisten
show examples
 several types of songs and you join
to
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apply
show examples
the
people
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 to dance or sing together.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 are headstrong and can not enjoy together if they do not like a kind of
music
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.
For example
Linking Words
, there are
people
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 that only listen and like just a
specifc
Correct your spelling
specific
genre
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 of
music
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,
such
Linking Words
 as rock
music
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 and they
are not be
Change the verb form
are not
show examples
 able to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 another type of song like classical
music
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 or be together in a place
that is
Linking Words
 playing several
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genre
Change to a plural noun
genres
show examples
 of
music
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. Another key thing to remember,
music
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 can divide groups of
people
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 with
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ages
Correct article usage
an ages
show examples
 gap, to
ilustrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 it, a young person usually
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
show examples
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
genre
Use synonyms
 of sounds than their parents listen
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
Therefore
Linking Words
,
music
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 does not bring all
people
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 together. To conclude, I agree that
music
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 is a good way to bring
people
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 together and
Correct your spelling
create
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creat
Correct your spelling
create
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 bonds
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other on some occasions, but there are
people
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 that are not
ecletic
Correct your spelling
eclectic
 and do not appreciate other varieties of
music
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, so it can even create
divide
Add an article
a divide
show examples
.
Submitted by carvalhos.comercial on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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