IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

The popularity of remote jobs is on the rise,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 modern take on workspace offers some benefits at first glance, there is more to
this
Linking Words
 matter than meets the eye, meaning that its downsides should be taken into consideration as well. On one hand, teleworking as a concept would probably please not only any employer, but
also
Linking Words
th
Correct your spelling
the
 employees. It can significantly reduce costs that go into maintaining a work environment or transportation to the office. If one is not wasting countless hours commuting to work, they can make better use of their day, which can, theoretically, improve creativity and productivity among workers and increase a business’s profit margin.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, working from
home
Use synonyms
 is far more convenient, as people can get their job done from the comfort of their
Use synonyms
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 and possibly improve their work-life balance.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the widespread utilization of remote jobs happened during the COVID-19 pandemic,
due to
Linking Words
 the dangers of the contagious virus that caused the disease during that era,
while
Linking Words
 it was not a new concept, it has never been put to
test
Correct article usage
the test
show examples
 in
such
Linking Words
 a large scale.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, that led companies to face telework’s pitfalls. For one, studies have shown a significant decay in employees’ occupational performance, when they are working from
home
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the working theory was that working remotely could provide individuals with a better work-life balance, in reality, it proved counterproductive. Despite the fact that they were staying at
home
Use synonyms
, their job and personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 became inseparable and caused them to be burnt out even more. In conclusion, I would argue that
although
Linking Words
 working remotely seems more convenient and financially beneficial on a surface level, it could eventually sabotage employees’ performance.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it should be implemented carefully and in limited circumstances.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity of your main points by providing more detailed examples or evidence to support your claims. For instance, you could specify studies or reports that highlight the decline in performance. This would strengthen your argument about the disadvantages of remote work.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Using transition words or phrases can help improve the coherence in your essay. For example, it would be beneficial to connect the ideas of convenience and work-life balance more explicitly between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded view of the topic by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which is a strong point.
Coherence and Cohesion
You effectively introduced the topic and concluded with a clear perspective, which enhances the overall structure of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote working
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • distractions
  • flexible schedule
  • cost savings
  • office space
  • commuting
  • professional wardrobe
  • boundary
  • burnout
  • face-to-face interaction
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • isolation
  • workplace culture
What to do next:
Look at other essays: