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Band 5.5

It is impossible to help all people around the world in need so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #world #governments #focus #country
Experts throughout both the developing and developed countries debate whether the governments should ignore the necessities of people living in foreign countries and give attention to their internal problems or whether the opposite case has to be implemented. I mostly agree with the latter view. There is no ounce of doubt that the developing level of countries differs from one another in our modern, globalized world. Societies in some places lack access to simple life standards,
such
 as
,
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 distilled water, secure food reserves, public transport. Especially, since it is difficult for many people to find an ideal decent job in Somalia, they try to smuggle foreign ships into international waters and risk their lives. So,
this
 type of nation mainly tries to focus on its developments to avoid
further
 decline.
However
, the developed society have huge wealth and economical independence,
although
 they spend hundreds of billions of dollars annually. It is better to help foreign citizens trying to withstand the shortage of basic needs.
For instance
, the US separates more than half a trillion dollars from its budget to cover military expenses every year. By reducing the costs and distributing
this
 amount of money to
poor
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the poor
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community
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communities
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 as aid would be the turning
points
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point
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 in the
histories
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history
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 of the developing.
Moreover
, it is crucial to consider our intrinsic values as a human. We were learnt to share in difficult periods, to minimize inequality among us. The same can be observed among the political affairs of the state authorities. One great illustration of
this
 is how nations became united against pandemics and donated medical assistance to one another. In conclusion,
although
 some people try to avoid helping foreign
state
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states
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 because of barriers, it is our duty as human beings to share and to improve societies as a whole.
Submitted by nijatisakhanli on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resources
  • moral obligation
  • global stability
  • economic impact
  • domestic issues
  • international aid
  • diplomatic relationships
  • resource allocation
  • healthcare
  • education
  • infrastructure
  • national priorities
  • desperate need
  • indirect benefit
  • goodwill
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