Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved.?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Certain
Use synonyms
people
Add a verb
arepeople
werepeople
show examples
sure that physicians can help them with any disease or well-being issue. Rather than learning things about a healthy lifestyle they used to solve problems by visiting doctors. In my ,opinion it could lead the medical system to unwanted consequences
such
Linking Words
as overloading it. Because of overstretching doctors may not be able to spend time with the patients who most need their help.
As a result
Linking Words
, some patients with serious diseases will not get treatment in time.
For example
Linking Words
, there is only one hospital in my town in which physicians work full worktime day, but due to high ,attendance it is not possible to examine all visitors. Owing to
this
Linking Words
situation
people
Use synonyms
must go to another city where are easier to allot help. I believe that we can tackle
this
Linking Words
trouble in different ways.
Firstly
Linking Words
, society needs
Change the article
the
show examples
education to help them take responsibility for their own strength,
Secondly
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
visited their doctor more regularly, more health problems could be detected early and treated before they became serious.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
should be expected to pay to solve problems that they created through their own lifestyle choices.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the government must create a new system that will help to determine the condition of each person; it will be useful in order what patient doctors should examine earlier. To sum up, we all must be attentive concerning our well-being because it will affect us
firstly
Linking Words
. The population of each nation is growing by the day and authorities should include
this
Linking Words
factor when they make decisions.
Submitted by bogdanyarovy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dependency
  • Personal responsibility
  • Healthcare
  • Doctors
  • Over-reliance
  • Delayed diagnoses
  • Missed diagnoses
  • Excessive reliance
  • Medical procedures
  • Healthcare costs
  • Proactive steps
  • Education
  • Awareness programs
  • Primary healthcare services
  • Preventive healthcare
  • Chronic conditions
  • Collaborating
  • Personalized health plans
  • Self-care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: