Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity

Many individuals believe that becoming wealthy persons offers us the greatest chance to support our counterparts. I totally agree with

this

view due to several reasons. It is obvious that we only help other people if we have accommodated our life and earned enough money for our demands. If we are not able to afford our rental fee, bills, children's education and others relating to basic requirements, we could not think about raising funds or doing charity

acitvities

Correct your spelling

activities

abilities

For example

, many billionaires like Bill Gates have created their foundations for philanthropic activities to save many poor situations and donate free vaccines to children in the least developed countries. That will explain that our economy and our budgets will help us contribute more to society and humankind.

In addition

, to save people from poverty, the rich people are capable of supporting scientific research and contributing to the development of our globe. We can easily see from the media that many entrepreneurs like Jeff Bezos or Elon musk are investigating

Change preposition

apply

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artificial intelligence, space satellites or electric cars to protect our environment and solve issues relating to Earth.

Therefore

, we will benefit from these non-profit actions in the future and our young generations will have opportunities to generate more ideas basing on the previous research.

As a result

, earning numerous revenues is really impressive,

however

, our life will be more meaningful if we use our profits to save more lives and discover new things. In conclusion, it seems to me that being a rich person does not only raise us but

also

help poorer ones. It is imperative that the rich in society can contribute to science and support our globe. Comments:

Submitted by lorachan113 on Tue Jul 27 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: Technology and its impact on society Question: In recent years, advancements in technology have transformed various aspects of society. Discuss both the positive and negative impacts of technology on individuals and communities. Provide relevant examples and your own opinion.

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student’s performance. Continual assessment such as coursework and projects is not a satisfactory way to do this. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should aim to do their best at whatever they are doing. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Train service in your area is reduced. Write a letter to your train company - explain how it affects you - describe the situation - tell the train company what you would like them to do