IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

#people #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars
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Nowadays, the majority prefers private vehicles as the main option for transportation.
Although
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this
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 development brings a lot of benefits, there are a lot of detrimental effects for the environment and the society as well
such
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 as
air
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 pollution and the high rate of mortality due to car crashes. Of course, there is a range of various strategies to solve these problems, yet the promotion of other types of
transport
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such
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 as bicycles by the government can be considered as the simplest way to sort out
this
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 problem. To start with, most of the vehicles work on petroleum, diesel or gas;
consequently
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, they produce toxic fumes which render
air
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 more poisonous for the environment;
additionally
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, it may lead to the extinction of some species or respiratory issues of dwellers.
For instance
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, the
air
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 quality in some Chinese cities is detrimental for human beings,
therefore
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people
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 should wear masks.
Secondly
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, most
people
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 believe that the most dangerous type of
transport
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 is using aeroplanes, yet
that is
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 a misconception. Accidents on the road and car crashes claim the greatest number of lives in comparison with other categories of
transport
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.
For instance
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, according to the 'PPX' (Azerbaijani police) statistics, about 100
people
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 die annually due to car accidents. To solve these crucial problems, the government can introduce some laws which would encourage society
people
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 to use engineless types of
transport
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such
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 as bicycles.
This
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 development might lead to the reduction of vehicles on roads that can minimise the number of accidents there and reduce the impact on the
air
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 quality. In the light of the thoughts elaborated upon, it can be concluded that private cars cause some issues
such
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 as
air
Use synonyms
 pollution and increase of the death rate, that can be overcome by the governmental encouragement of the population to use bicycles
instead
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.
Submitted by samir2002mamedov on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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