IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#phone #years #business #phones #forms
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The mobile phone is a device
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 helps us to communicate with each other using our voices.It was definitely the most helpful
invention
Use synonyms
 considering the earlier days where the communication would depend on the post in the form of letters or telegram.There would be certain places where one could speak to their loved ones after paying a specific amount and not all could afford
this
Linking Words
. The
invention
Use synonyms
 of the mobile phone made life simpler and communication much easier.To add to
this
Linking Words
 nowadays cell
phones
Use synonyms
 are affordable,easily available and
accesible
Correct your spelling
accessible
.
This
Linking Words
 makes the possession of cell
phones
Use synonyms
 a
priviledge
Correct your spelling
privilege
.
However
Linking Words
, the former statement is only good to hear. Like science has its advantages and disadvantages, every
invention
Use synonyms
 comes with its own Pandora's box of troubles.Usage of mobiles
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 not only created a drift from personal relations but
also
Linking Words
 instilled a fake sense of being knowledgeable about any ailment.
For example
Linking Words
, patients are using the Google app on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 mobile phone to
Correct your spelling
self-search
show examples
self- search
Correct your spelling
self-search
show examples
 about the ailments they suffer from and believe in something which is not authentic. They have no idea from where the information is displayed but that information will either give them a false sense of security or a false sense of fear in them. Another common issue with mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 is that the older generation has access to all sorts of
you- tube
Correct your spelling
youtube
show examples
 videos
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 come from unknown sources which brainwash them.
For instance
Linking Words
, drinking curcumin milk or having basil leaves rubbed on the chest will keep them away from the coronavirus infection and they walk mask-free. To conclude,I would like to say that like every
invention
Use synonyms
 has its merits and demerits, cell
phones
Use synonyms
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
 are considered to be a boon by some and a bane by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others.We need to decide how we should use these gadgets in our daily lives to make
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 simpler rather than falling prey to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 falsity.
Submitted by shishduble on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • cyberbullying
  • screen time
  • data privacy
  • identity theft
  • financial fraud
  • eye strain
  • sleep disorders
  • chronic issues
  • productivity
  • notifications
  • validation
  • self-esteem
What to do next:
Look at other essays: