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Band 7

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
Consumption has increased to a certain level with the development of agriculture in the world. Farmers can improve efficiency,
such
 as using equipment and machines rather than doing it manually.
However
, the still majority suffer from
hunger
 around the earth. There are a few factors that can be affected by
this
 problem.
Firstly
, it usually occurs in developing countries
such
 as Nepal and Indonesia. Even though farming has advanced, the public can not afford those
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of money. The reason for
this
 is unemployment which causes an economic crisis. It affects the low-level population the most.
Secondly
, having corrupt politicians can lead society to bankruptcy in agriculture and other sectors, and
as a result
, the cost will be covered by the nation by imposing taxes. It is a burden to the majority who are not living luxury lives.
Moreover
, inflation is
also
 one of the major causes of people suffering from
hunger
. As prices of
food
 products are touching the sky, it is becoming tough for many people to buy them. The possible way to tackle
this
 problem is to minimize taxes on basic
food
 items so that everyone can take basic nutritional
food
 and nobody faces
hunger
. In conclusion, the main causes of people suffering from
hunger
 are inflation and poverty. The possible solutions are minimized taxation on necessary
food
 items, and regulations by the government to control more unskilled jobs availability. At the same time, political interference and penury can be reduced to some extent by
this
.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the question, outlining the primary reasons for hunger despite advances in agriculture. However, consider expanding your explanation and linking ideas more explicitly. For example, detailing how unemployment directly affects the affordability of food.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is structured logically with clear paragraphs, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. You can use more linking words to enhance the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally well-supported, but some examples are rather general. Including more specific data or case studies could strengthen your arguments and provide more solid evidence for your points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up the issue clearly, and your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
You have identified several key factors contributing to the problem of hunger, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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