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Band 6.5

Public celebrations (such as national days, festivals, etc.) are held in most countries. These are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

#celebrations #festivals #countries #people #governments #money
Most nations have many public celebrations
such
 as national
days
, festivals, and
others
, but these are relatively expensive;
therefore
, the
government
 should invest more
money
 in ways that would help develop its country. I agree with
this
 statement because the
government
 should be better at managing its budgets. Indeed, celebrations
days
 can be inexpensive to organize, but some
money
 that the
government
 is earned might negatively affect it.
For example
, every year, the
government
 earns
money
 it could spend on festivals, but
this
 might not happen if corrupted officials misallocate funds;
therefore
, there will be less
money
 to hold some activities.
Furthermore
, the
government
 should be more interested in some factors which would develop its country,
such
 as education, public transport and
others
 because these should be given more priority. To illustrate, education is essential because, these
days
, some nations still have children who do not have the opportunity to go to school, and the future of these children might be low as expected.
Moreover
, in some countries, public transport is neglected because many pretences of
government
 have other more important things than
this
. These celebration
days
,
however
, should not be avoided because
such
days
 are as essential as
others
.
In addition
, the
government
 should encourage its people to prepare and decorate for
such
days
 because
this
 will save the state
money
 and people will participate in celebrations. To conclude, I agree with
this
 statement because the
government
 should pay attention to education, public transports and
others
.
However
,
such
days
 are important to celebrate;
thus
, it should invite its people to help to reduce state costs, and it must be honest to its citizens.
Submitted by nutt.spider on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fostering
  • national pride
  • unity
  • cultural heritage
  • sense of belonging
  • boost the local economy
  • hospitality and retail sectors
  • showcase
  • global audience
  • foreign relations
  • multifaceted
  • allocating
  • quality of life
  • social inclusion
  • cohesive and inclusive society
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