IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #sport #part #school #life #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more and more people have started to care greatly about their health by playing
sports
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, more individuals have started to place more importance on
sports
Use synonyms
 in the school curriculum
however
Linking Words
, there are a few who think that
sports
Use synonyms
 should be optional. In my opinion, I disagree that
sports
Use synonyms
 should be an essential part of the syllabus. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will look at both sides of the argument On one hand, students must take part in
sports
Use synonyms
 to keep healthy and active.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study conducted by Harvard University in 2019, has concluded that when students play
sports
Use synonyms
 like football, badminton or volleyball, the percentage of testosterone, which is a hormone, increases significantly
as a result
Linking Words
 increasing their immunity as well as activeness levels by 67%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when students are active they are more likely to perform better in their academics.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is clear that when pupils are subjected to physical exercise, their testosterone levels increase which in turn make them healthier and more active.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when
sports
Use synonyms
 becomes an essential part of a child's life, they might end up neglecting their studies.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by the New York Times in 2019, has stated that 78% of pupils attending an institute of learning were unable to manage their
time
Use synonyms
 efficiently, thereby, causing them to achieve lower test scores than their peers on tests. Not only did they perform poorer on tests but
also
Linking Words
 ended up becoming stressed.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is apparent that when schoolchildren are made to play
sports
Use synonyms
, they lose track of
time
Use synonyms
 causing them to neglect their education. In conclusion, when kids are made to play
sports
Use synonyms
 there are a few benefits and drawbacks with the former being increased immunity and fitness levels while the latter being not having enough
time
Use synonyms
 for education. After a thorough analysis of the subject, I can conclude that the disadvantages of making
sports
Use synonyms
 an essential subject outweigh the advantages.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can be corrected if kids are taught how to manage their
time
Use synonyms
 properly.
Submitted by srikanth923 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: