IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that reading stories in the books is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. Agree or disagree?

#people #stories #books #tv #computer #games #children
Many people believe that reading
books
 is more beneficial for
children
 compared to watching
TV
 or playing computer
games
. Personally, I completely agree with their opinion.
Firstly
, reading
books
 can help improve
children
’s imagination and creativity skills in comparison to watching
TV
 or playing
video
games
. While reading, one can use creativity and imaginary intelligence to visualise the events described in the book. Whereas, in the case of watching
TV
this
 isn’t possible because the
TV
 already provides them.
Secondly
, reading can develop
children
’s verbal skills compared to watching
TV
 or playing
video
games
. Reading
books
 allow the
children
 to be introduced to new words and
thus
 improving their vocabulary.
This
 leads to improved writing techniques. Whereas in the case of watching
TV
 and playing
video
games
, it is more focused on the visual images and sounds.
On the other hand
, despite positive beliefs, playing
games
 and watching
TV
 too much are two of the main reasons for eye diseases
such
 as myopia. If one spends a lot of time in front of a screen, it is highly likely to lead to a sedentary lifestyle and increase the risk of suffering from some diseases
such
 as bad eyes, obesity etc.
Moreover
, some
video
games
 and
TV
 shows contain violent themes which seem to have drastic effects on
children
’s behaviour.
Nevertheless
,
books
 are designed better, people use a lot of images and colours to make
books
 becoming more attractive. It is true that playing over the internet and watching
tv
 may bring some merits,
however
, the drawback of that seem to outweigh the benefits. To conclude, I believe that the advantages of reading
books
 outweigh those of watching
TV
 or playing
games
 for
children
 and would
thus
 argue that reading text is more beneficial for
children
 compared to watching television or playing computer
games
.
Submitted by sriban1974 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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