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Band 5.5

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people.

#people #person #opportunity
It has been suggested that topic for discussion, many
people
 claim that the most essential thing about being wealthy is it creates a person the chance to support other
people
. I admit
this
 notion, actually rich
people
 have got the top chances for assisting.
First
 of all, as a matter of fact, in
this
 day and ,age the poor have been increasing day by day and
this
 is one of the most necessary problems for both
people
 and
country
. I believe that
this
 action is indispensable and decisive for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind. In fact, only the
government
 measures can'
t
 help
people
 absolutely so both the rich and the
country
 must organize the cooperation.
For instance
, the organizations must be established by the rich or the
government
 for supplying
people
 with various needs. What is more, probably the houses can be created for the poor inhabiting. Briefly, I believe that the poor should be helped by the wealthy because the needy can be dropped by
this
 action and
this
 event can support the
government
.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
assisting is crucial for the future, maybe the others can understand how is decisive so helping. Probably, if
people
 can see
such
 actions, others will participate. As a pattern, nowadays, some
people
 can'
t
 pay attention own children,
moreover
 some families can'
t
 buy daily foods. The foundation must be created by the rich or they must be supported in the workplace.
Hence
, it is necessary to be realized by the rich or the
country
. I believe strongly more
people
 will take a sample from
this
 activity. Weigh everything into consideration, the
supportings
Correct your spelling
supporting
 aren'
t
 decisive or crucial only for the poor,
this
 action is useful for both
country
 and
people
's living condition.
This
 opportunity ought to be created by the
government
 for
this
 assisting.
Submitted by aydin.quliyev2001 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
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