The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

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It is undeniable that
this
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fast-paced life significantly affects the lives of individuals especially women because it was not possible for ladies to work before but now they are working too. Since many people consider them the root cause of juvenile delinquency. I fully disagree with
this
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notion
due to
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the reasons explained in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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with, several stereotypes in
this
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society still exist.
Firstly
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, it is considered men as the only breadwinners in the family
while
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females are typically expected to complete household chores and child-rearing which makes it difficult for a mother to be independent.
For instance
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, housewives have to take responsibility for teaching kids and instilling good manners among them, cooking food, and tidying up the residence.
Therefore
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, taking care of housework and educating correct moral values to youngsters are the primary obligations for females in the family.
However
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, numerous factors impact juvenile delinquency
besides
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maternal employment
such
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as peer pressure, media exposure, and the educational environment as shaping their mind is the easiest task. Meanwhile, they become easily influenced by anyone and try to imitate the actions of another person.
Hence
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, thereby complicating the attribution of youth issues solely to worker mothers is not the best idea.
Furthermore
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, there are positive outcomes associated with women working,
such
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as financial stability for the family, role modelling for their children, and increased family resources that can enhance the opportunities for offspring.
To conclude
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, the blame on the mother overlooks the important role that father and society play in child upbringing as there are ample factors responsible for delinquency which can only be solved with the help of everyone's support.
Submitted by k7jassu on

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Clarity
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Development
Consider expanding on the examples given. For example, elaborate on how peer pressure or media exposure affects juvenile delinquency.
Conclusion
Try to tie your conclusion more explicitly to the main points discussed in the body paragraphs to strengthen coherence across your essay.
Task Response
The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing the disagreement with the stated notion about women's employment and juvenile delinquency.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is clear introduction and conclusion, which successfully frames the argument and ties the essay together.
Task Achievement
The essay mentions various perspectives, such as the impact of peer pressure and media, which provides a comprehensive take on the issue of juvenile delinquency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile delinquency
  • cultural shift
  • traditional family dynamics
  • socio-economic conditions
  • peer pressure
  • media exposure
  • educational environments
  • maternal employment
  • financial stability
  • role modeling
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work options
  • supportive parenting structures
  • community programs
  • extracurricular activities
  • gender roles
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