The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?
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It is undeniable that
this
fast-paced life significantly affects the lives of individuals especially women because it was not possible for ladies to work before but now they are working too. Since many people consider them the root cause of juvenile delinquency. I fully disagree with Linking Words
this
notion Linking Words
due to
the reasons explained in the following paragraphs.
Linking Words
To begin
with, several stereotypes in Linking Words
this
society still exist. Linking Words
Firstly
, it is considered men as the only breadwinners in the family Linking Words
while
females are typically expected to complete household chores and child-rearing which makes it difficult for a mother to be independent. Linking Words
For instance
, housewives have to take responsibility for teaching kids and instilling good manners among them, cooking food, and tidying up the residence. Linking Words
Therefore
, taking care of housework and educating correct moral values to youngsters are the primary obligations for females in the family.
Linking Words
However
, numerous factors impact juvenile delinquency Linking Words
besides
maternal employment Linking Words
such
as peer pressure, media exposure, and the educational environment as shaping their mind is the easiest task. Meanwhile, they become easily influenced by anyone and try to imitate the actions of another person. Linking Words
Hence
, thereby complicating the attribution of youth issues solely to worker mothers is not the best idea. Linking Words
Furthermore
, there are positive outcomes associated with women working, Linking Words
such
as financial stability for the family, role modelling for their children, and increased family resources that can enhance the opportunities for offspring.
Linking Words
To conclude
, the blame on the mother overlooks the important role that father and society play in child upbringing as there are ample factors responsible for delinquency which can only be solved with the help of everyone's support.Linking Words
Submitted by k7jassu on
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Clarity
Be sure to clarify your main points more consistently throughout the essay for better readability and understanding.
Development
Consider expanding on the examples given. For example, elaborate on how peer pressure or media exposure affects juvenile delinquency.
Conclusion
Try to tie your conclusion more explicitly to the main points discussed in the body paragraphs to strengthen coherence across your essay.
Task Response
The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing the disagreement with the stated notion about women's employment and juvenile delinquency.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is clear introduction and conclusion, which successfully frames the argument and ties the essay together.
Task Achievement
The essay mentions various perspectives, such as the impact of peer pressure and media, which provides a comprehensive take on the issue of juvenile delinquency.