Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Although

some people believe that society has become more dependent on each other, others think the opposite,

in other words

, real independence. On both sides, there are many speculations and I believe in a society that has been more dependent. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and explain my opinion. On the one hand, people with healthy mental health do not matter with different opinions about them, which should be correct for everybody. Some individuals have complete awareness about themselves and well development self-esteem resulting in an adult absolutely strong both physically and mentally.

For example

this

kind of person does not be influenced by any opinions because he does not depend on another person to live his life. The more knowledge about own challenges and fears, the more aware the person will be. But

on the other hand

, influenced by famous influencers on the internet and by technologies that have been increasingly popular in the present day, society is even more dependent. Individuals, generally youngers, take decisions thinking about the future commentaries and how they will influence their lives.

For instance

, on the internet, there are numerous young girls showing their lives like a perfect life, which leads to ordinary girls make extreme decisions about their bodies.

Therefore

, I concur with

this

idea once the dependence of the population results in an ill civilization. In conclusion, there is a variety of different ideas about

this

topic, but I agree with the argument whose claim is that the modern world is more dependent.

This

essay argued about different views and more my opinion about

this

subject.

Submitted by larissafelipin on Tue Aug 03 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

9.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interconnectedness
globalization
digital communication platforms
mutual dependency
economic globalization
international supply chains
social validation
advancements in technology
individualism
technological tools
smartphones
personal computers
cultural shift
self-sufficiency
individualistic attitudes
personal achievement
self-care
interdependency
societal structures
emotional support
underlying foundations
human interaction

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