IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In today’s society, using online materials has been increasingly popular as
people
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 think it is much more convenient. Some
people
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 argue that no one will buy printed
newspapers
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 or books because they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 read everything online without paying. From my perspective, I disagree with
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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, some individuals may have a habit of consuming
newspapers
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 in their daily lives.
For example
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, the elderly usually are used to buying printed
newspapers
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. As they are not good at using technological devices,
such
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 as mobile phones or
ipads
Correct your spelling
iPads
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, they tend not to read
newspapers
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 online on the internet.
Moreover
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, they may like to hold onto the papers
while
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 reading
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 as the texture of the papers
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 them a sense of
newspapers
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, like the roughness.
Hence
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, they will continue reading printed
newspapers
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 and articles and are less likely to read them online.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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 may have bad eyesight problems when looking at their devices for too long.
For instance
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, as reading requires a lot of energy
of
Change preposition
from
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 our
eyes
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, looking at their phones for a long amount of time may lead to serious illnesses in their
eyes
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. It usually takes about one hour for them to read
newspapers
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 and looking at the monitors is detrimental for our
eyes
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.
Therefore
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, in order to avoid these issues
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
eyes
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, they are more likely to remain unchanged by buying printed
newspapers
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,
instead
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 of reading them online. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages of reading
newspapers
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 and articles online, but it may not be suitable for all
people
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 as some of them may be used to consuming
newspapers
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 and may want to avoid having bad eyesight problems.
Thus
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 personally believe that they would not be changing from buying printed
newspapers
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 to reading them online.

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task achievement
While your essay addresses the topic effectively, try to further develop your arguments with more varied examples and additional perspectives to reinforce your points. This will help you create a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words and phrases to better link your ideas. This will enhance the logical flow and make your essay smoother to read.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction effectively sets up the argument and is clear about your stance. The conclusion also provides a succinct summary of your points, reinforcing your main arguments.
supported main points
Your main points are well supported with specific examples, particularly regarding the habits of the elderly and the potential for eye strain from screen time.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • cost-effective
  • cultural value
  • sentimental value
  • reliability
  • distracting
  • access to
  • digital devices
  • internet
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