IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is a doctor's responsibility to inform patients if they have a serious disease. Doctors should not be allowed to withhold medical information from their patients. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#doctor #responsibility #patients #disease #doctors #information
In today's society, people's perspectives on healthcare issues have significant divergence. The question of whether
doctors
 should disclose medical
information
 to
patients
 or have the choice to withhold certain
information
 has become a matter of considerable debate. In my opinion, I firmly believe that transparency is crucial in medical practice.
Firstly
, informing
patients
 about their health conditions fosters trust between
doctors
 and
patients
.
Patients
 have the right to make informed decisions about their treatment options and potential risks.
For instance
, knowing the severity of a disease allows
patients
 to prepare emotionally and financially, and to involve their families in decision-making processes.
Moreover
, transparency in medical communication aligns with ethical principles
such
 as patient autonomy and beneficence.
Patients
 have the right to autonomy over their bodies and healthcare decisions. By withholding critical medical
information
,
doctors
 may infringe upon
this
 fundamental right and undermine patient welfare.
For instance
, delaying the announcement of a serious diagnosis could delay timely interventions or healing options.
However
, it is undeniable that disclosing a severe diagnosis could cause excessive distress or anxiety in
patients
, potentially harming their mental well-being.
While
this
 concern is valid,
doctors
 can mitigate these effects through compassionate and supportive communication strategies, fostering open dialogue and providing emotional support In conclusion, despite valid concerns about the impact of disclosing serious medical
information
, I firmly believe that
doctors
 should not withhold
such
information
 from their
patients
. Transparency not only respects patient autonomy but
also
 enhances trust and promotes better healthcare outcomes
Submitted by zora840810 on

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task achievement
To improve the completeness of your task response, consider providing more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments. Elaborating on the emotional and financial preparations that patients might need to make upon learning about their condition would add depth.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure that all your points are clearly linked with appropriate transition words. Using phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', or 'On the other hand' could help guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which encapsulate the main ideas effectively.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of ethical principles such as patient autonomy and beneficence, adding depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The main points in your essay are logical and well-supported, contributing to a persuasive argument overall.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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