IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like the very much Why do people take part in dangerous sports Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers

#sports #people #part #suggestions #dangers
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in
this
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 modern era, a majority of
people
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 want to become famous. Some players are playing
extreme
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an extreme
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 and dangerous
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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.
this
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 essay will discuss the main reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 play dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
 and suggest
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 ways to reduce
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 games.
To begin
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 with, the main reason why
people
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 play
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 dangerous
sports
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 is that they like to
taking
Change the form of the verb
take
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 risks. They like to challenge their ability.
Firstly
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, they push
Correct your spelling
themselves
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them selves
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themselves
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 each and every day they feel satisfied when they
performs
Change the verb form
perform
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 dangerous
sports
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 like boxing, riding mountain bikes and so on.
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Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
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 if they perform very well
then
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 they get
a
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apply
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fame and sometimes so many chances to win huge money and different prices
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this
Change the determiner
these
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 prices build them
confidence
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the confidence
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 to perform
next
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 task well.
Finally
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, After performing they get attention by doing stunts on motorcycles and jumping from huge buildings they create
a headlines
Correct the article-noun agreement
headlines
a headline
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 in newspapers and
in
Change preposition
on
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 television news channels The solutions are not simple , while doing some stunts they have to keep safety equipment and experts.
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Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 perform all the stunts after taking proper instructions and proper training. Some companies have to require a license for providing
such
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 training. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 do
such
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sports
Use synonyms
 for fun,
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however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 some
sports
Use synonyms
 performed after sufficient training.
Submitted by Aditya Patel on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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