Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co operate rather than compete become more useful adult.discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
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modern era, competitiveness and co-operation
both
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are needed for
children
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. Some
people
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believe that
competition
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should be more encouraged in
children
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, while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
argue that co-operation is more beneficial for
children
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in their
future
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss
both
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points of view and at the end, I will give my opinion.
To begin
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with,
people
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who believe
competition
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is more important for
children
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. They think that
children
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who complete themselves with others can learn more and believe their goal easily. And
also
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in the
future
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, they have to complete. So many
people
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to get
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a job
the job
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job
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jobs
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or in business to earn more money.
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Competition
Add an article
The competition
show examples
also
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helps in sports to win the match.
Moreover
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, without
competition
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children
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would become lazy and cannot learn as much as they do in
competition
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with others.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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believe that
cooperation
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is largely important than
competition
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.
Children
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who have good
cooperation
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skills
they
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apply
show examples
can lead well and
also
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adopt new culture easily.
For instance
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, it helps them in the
future
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when they open business or work in the companies
then
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cooperate with the team members is very necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
the work environment. In
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
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of
situations
Add a comma
,situations
show examples
competition
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is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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the team.
For example
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, if they complete with their own team members in the project
then
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it would be detrimental for them and
also
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for the company.
Thus
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, those
children
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who
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
thought
sought
to cooperate rather than compete become more successful in the
future
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.
However
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, I believe that
cooperation
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and
competition
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both
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should be
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
thought
sought
equally.
This
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is because these
both
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skills are equally needed in the workplace. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that competitiveness and
cooperation
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both
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are equally needed to become useful adults.
Submitted by tithipatel1731 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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