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Band 4.5

The government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree?

#government #money #railways #roads
Although
, many people believe that investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 trains path would be more beneficial than spending money on roads. I think in
reverse
Change the article
a reverse
show examples
 manner and disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the given statement. My inclination is justified in the ensuing paragraphs. Out of all the arguments of miniseries to expand railways
instead
 of roads, the strongest one to prove my view is people prefer saving
time
 in transportation and utilise it in a fruitful manner.
This
 is to say railways are
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
slower than
road
 journeys and
also
 for small travelling
train
 take more
time
 than by
road
 which would
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
 as a waster of precious
time
. A good example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 is
Change the capitalization
Ahmedabad
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ahmedabad-
Correct article usage
the ahmedabad-vadodara
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vadodara
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Vadodara
show examples
 expression way. if you
travell
Correct your spelling
travel
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
train
Add an article
the train
show examples
 it takes 3 hours whereas by
road
 2 hours only and
also
 by
road
yoy
Correct your spelling
you
 would directly reach your
destination
,
however
, by
train
Add a comma
,train
show examples
 you
also
 have to use some public transportation
too
Replace the word
to
show examples
 reach
destination
Add an article
the destination
a destination
show examples
 and that
also
 uses a
road
. The other reason to prove
my
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I
show examples
 is in
this
 fast life people
love
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loves
show examples
 to travel by
road
 to explore each and every place that comes in between because it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 a chance to stop and enjoy more place rather than
direct
Add an article
a direct
the direct
show examples
destination
.
For example
, a person travelling by rail he directly stops at
destination
 and he
don't
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doesn't
show examples
 have accessibility
other place
Change the wording
another place
other places
show examples
 which they might have visited and enjoy.
However
, I would not overlook
otherside
Correct your spelling
other side
 too.
To begin
 with,
train
journey
Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
show examples
 would provide more comfort than
road
 journeys in long runs as it has many space and sleeping cabins where
also
 be available at
time
 of booking .
Also
, driving a car for 2-3 days to reach other
destination
 would be not good for health while by
train
it's give
Change the verb form
it gives
show examples
 more relaxation.
Thus
, to wrap up the discussion, it can be said that despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
comfor
Correct your spelling
comfort
 and less physical activity in long runs, my reasons that
time
 enjoying roadways journey would give more peace and enough
time
 to enjoy new things in life.
Submitted by hardiktrivedi27 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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