Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #develompent

In today's world, gadgets have been fundamental assets that most populations can not live without.

Therefore

, it is not rare to see

children

use their gadgets on a daily basis. From my perspective, the rapid usage of it has various drawbacks,

such

addiction

, online sexual harassment and grooming, and scamming.

Firstly

, the use of smartphones by

children

can create an

addiction

. Like in most cases,

addiction

is something

that is

not easy to be cured.

This

will push the

children

to be more focused on being up-to-date with digital trends,

thus

neglecting the outside and real world. In the long run, it could directly affect the

children

's behaviour and turn them into antisocial.

As a result

, their performance in school will greatly take a step back.

Secondly

, the majority of

children

are not well informed about the concept of 'consent',

however

, the digital world is a scary place.

Due to

its vast scope and high privacy, individuals are able to do any kind of thing with a fake identity,

such

as doing predatory actions. The most common cases in

this

sphere are online sexual harassment and grooming.

Thus

children

are most likely to be targeted by predators.

Therefore

, they become the victims of grooming and sexual harassment without knowing that they are victims. Most of them would likely experience a traumatic phase which will haunt them forever.

Thirdly

, as

children

surf the internet without the adults' surveillance, there is a high possibility that they will be influenced to do bad things.

For instance

children

could be found scamming individuals on the internet for quick cash. If they are found guilty, the law will be involved and they get jailed. Having a bad record in the police station will hinder their opportunity to get a job in the future even to continue their education.

To sum up

, it is a negative development

that is

evidenced by the rise of

addiction

, online grooming, and scamming.

Submitted by alyarachmadivaa on Wed Jan 31 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarizes your argument and restates your position. Your introduction currently lacks a direct answer to the question about whether the development is positive or negative. Make your thesis statement more pronounced.

supported main points

Develop your main points more fully with relevant examples to support your argument. For each disadvantage, consider including specific, real-world instances or data to reinforce your points.

complete response

Respond to all aspects of the task. While you addressed why children spend hours on their smartphones and why it's negative, you should have also discussed any potential positive aspects for a balanced view.

logical structure

Organize your essay with clear paragraphing, each with a single main idea. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve logical flow from one idea to the next.

clear comprehensive ideas

Try to develop your ideas fully to ensure they are clear and comprehensive. For example, when discussing addiction, explain clearly how smartphone use specifically leads to antisocial behavior.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

International travel brings benefits to travellers and the countries visited, but it also harms for the environment. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?