Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?
In today's world, gadgets have been fundamental assets that most populations can not live without.
Therefore
, it is not rare to see children
use their gadgets on a daily basis. From my perspective, the rapid usage of it has various drawbacks, such
as addiction
, online sexual harassment and grooming, and scamming.
Firstly
, the use of smartphones by children
can create an addiction
. Like in most cases, addiction
is something that is
not easy to be cured. This
will push the children
to be more focused on being up-to-date with digital trends, thus
neglecting the outside and real world. In the long run, it could directly affect the children
's behaviour and turn them into antisocial. As a result
, their performance in school will greatly take a step back.
Secondly
, the majority of children
are not well informed about the concept of 'consent', however
, the digital world is a scary place. Due to
its vast scope and high privacy, individuals are able to do any kind of thing with a fake identity, such
as doing predatory actions. The most common cases in this
sphere are online sexual harassment and grooming. Thus
, children
are most likely to be targeted by predators. Therefore
, they become the victims of grooming and sexual harassment without knowing that they are victims. Most of them would likely experience a traumatic phase which will haunt them forever.
Thirdly
, as children
surf the internet without the adults' surveillance, there is a high possibility that they will be influenced to do bad things. For instance
, children
could be found scamming individuals on the internet for quick cash. If they are found guilty, the law will be involved and they get jailed. Having a bad record in the police station will hinder their opportunity to get a job in the future even to continue their education.
To sum up
, it is a negative development that is
evidenced by the rise of addiction
, online grooming, and scamming.Submitted by alyarachmadivaa on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that summarizes your argument and restates your position. Your introduction currently lacks a direct answer to the question about whether the development is positive or negative. Make your thesis statement more pronounced.
supported main points
Develop your main points more fully with relevant examples to support your argument. For each disadvantage, consider including specific, real-world instances or data to reinforce your points.
complete response
Respond to all aspects of the task. While you addressed why children spend hours on their smartphones and why it's negative, you should have also discussed any potential positive aspects for a balanced view.
logical structure
Organize your essay with clear paragraphing, each with a single main idea. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve logical flow from one idea to the next.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to develop your ideas fully to ensure they are clear and comprehensive. For example, when discussing addiction, explain clearly how smartphone use specifically leads to antisocial behavior.
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