NOWADAYS YOUNG PEOPLE ARE LEAVING THEIR HOMES FROM RURAL AREAS TO STUDY OR WORK IN THE CITIES. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN ? DO ADVANTAGES OF THE DEVELOPMENT OUTWEIGH ITS DISADVANTAGES?

#people #homes #areas #study #work #cities #happen #development

In today’s society, the young prefer living in crowded cities to staying at their hometown in rural areas.

This

happens due to one main reason which will be revealed in

this

essay and generally, in my opinion, the drawbacks are much more clearly than the benefits. To be more specific, the main cause for the movement of young people is that obviously, in big cities, there are greater chances and better conditions for them to develop their careers,

such

as higher education, more provision of sufficient job opportunities and modern technology. It is the human instinct in seeking betterment so they usually make decisions that seem to be more beneficial for their future.

However

this

massive human movement

also

creates various negative effects, especially on the environment.

First

of all, due to the overcrowded population in large cities, air and water pollution are getting worse than ever.

For example

, in Ha Noi capital, West Lake and To Lich river were totally destroyed as citizens have been discharging an incredible amount of pollutants every single day.

Moreover

, in

this

city, the air is always dark, full of dirt and dust, which affect negatively

Change preposition

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people’s health.

Besides

, too many youngers are tempted to leave their hometown, which results in uneven population distribution. As the consequence, whilst there are too many unemployed workers in urban areas and most of the residents here have to encounter a series of life pressure, the fertile land in the countrysides is wasted. In conclusion, the main cause for

this

movement is geographical and economical differences in life quality and it is my firm conviction that

although

this

brings about individuals’ profit, it is significantly harmful to the environment and

also

results in imbalanced social development in multiple aspects.

Submitted by khuongquynhnga1997 on Thu Aug 05 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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NOWADAYS YOUNG PEOPLE ARE LEAVING THEIR HOMES FROM RURAL AREAS TO STUDY OR WORK IN THE CITIES. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN ? DO ADVANTAGES OF THE DEVELOPMENT OUTWEIGH ITS DISADVANTAGES?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public.Why is this happening?Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.