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Band 3.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
There are many concerned individuals who feel that children should learn good manners from their
parents
. Others,
however
,
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
 system should teach their students to become more responsible towards our society. I completely agree with the former statement and in
this
 essay, I will support my view with examples. Focusing on teenagers good behaviour, we can say that school plays a crucial role. There are many schools
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 conduct classes to teach students basic
etiquettes
Fix the agreement mistake
etiquette
show examples
.
For example
, personality development, character building. These tutions will help them to grow their characters.
Also
, physical
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 can improve students physical fitness and
Correct your spelling
classroom
show examples
class room
Correct your spelling
classroom
show examples
 sessions teach them to become more
discipline
Correct your spelling
disciplined
show examples
 in life. Due to schools, kids learn how to interact with each other and that improves their communication skills and general knowledge.
On the other hand
, despite learning necessary topics in school, few important things they do learn by observing their
parents
.
For example
, If
parents
 are spending more time on their mobile devices
then
 kids tend to copy that and
instead
 of playing outdoor games or
Correct your spelling
studying
studing
Add a comma
,studing
show examples
 they
prefers
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prefer
show examples
 to spend their time on mobile devices.
Envionment
Correct your spelling
Environment
 at home
also
 helps in building children's mental health. In
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I strongly believe that the collaborative efforts of
parents
 and universities can ameliorate the situation.
Submitted by shreyaraut1996 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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