IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The key to solving environmental problems is for the present generation to sacrifice their convenient lifestyle for the sake of future generations. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#generation #sacrifice #lifestyle #sake #future #generations
It is said that some
changes
 must certainly be made to current lifestyles to save the
environment
,
this
 may not require
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people today to live a less comfortable life and may even benefit and enrich both the current and next generations. I completely disagree with the fact that these types of
changes
 bring inconvenience to the current generation. People today can opt to rely on public transportation
instead
 of using their private cars on a daily basis. Many governments have improved the mass transportation options available and kept the rates low.
Therefore
, people can reduce their carbon footprint and decrease environmental pollution by not using cars to travel. In fact,
this
 adjustment in their
lifestyle
 not only
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
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 them by lowering their costs
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
 has a positive impact on the
environment
 at no significant burden to them.
In addition
, progress in technology makes it easy to save the
environment
 with a slight change in
lifestyle
 with no reduction in the comfort level.
For example
, biodegradable plastics have been recently invented to replace the old plastic products that pollute the
environment
. The new products have the exact
function
Correct word choice
same function
show examples
 as the older ones, so there would be no discomfort by the transition made, whilst still managing to contribute to protecting the
environment
.
On the other hand
, there are some
changes
 in the
lifestyle
 that lessen the convenience of the current generation.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
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for instance
 the use of air transport which
release
Correct subject-verb agreement
releases
show examples
 tons of carbon dioxide, many times more than a road journey over the same distance does.
However
, most individuals are not frequent travellers and
this
 change would not bring so many negative consequences on their convenience but a huge positive impact on the
environment
.
To conclude
, whilst I believe that the present generation needs to make
lifestyle
changes
 to reduce environmental issues, I disagree that these advances will be a burden to them.
Submitted by katayonsaeb on

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task response
Ensure that your essay directly responds to the given prompt, addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates overall good coherence and cohesion, with a clear introduction and conclusion, as well as well-supported main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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