IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in Zoos. Others, believe that there are good reasons of having Zoos. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #zoos
Establishing
zoos
 are not acceptable at all for some people, while others believe in the positive points of
such
 places. I personally believe that keeping animals in
zoos
 is immoral. One of the tourist attractions could be visiting creatures in
zoos
 that can increase income.
Moreover
, children enjoy getting familiar with souls and
this
 will
also
 create a suitable situation to teach them different aspects of wildlife and how they are responsible for it. Considering scientific researches about wild pets could be safer and less sophisticated when pets are easily accessible in cages. It is observable in many scientific papers
for example
 about monkeys in
zoos
, which located in Australia. Without these
zoos
, obtaining data from animals, their characteristics and behaviours could not be as much as the amount available these days.
On the other hand
, pets cannot live naturally in artificial environments like
zoos
 which may lead to odd circumstances in future.
For instance
, lions held in a zoo in Netherland were not able to survive in the jungle that they came from, because they were incapable, because they were incapable of hunting. These kinds of changes in an animal could be harmful to them and
also
 destroy the accuracy and validity of scientific research which observe creatures in the zoo.
Zoos
 environment changes the animals drastically and they are not the one exists in the jungle and other natural areas. It seems not to be ethical to bother these creatures in a way that they change thoroughly. In conclusion, in spite of nurturing environment
zoos
 could provide, I believe it to be unethical manner as they deserve to live in their own hometown.
Submitted by pejhan.red on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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