IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 9

In the future, nobody wiil buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.

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It is often argued that,
due to
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 the advancement in technology people will no longer spend money to purchase newspapers and books in some time to come because the consumption of people getting access to knowledge has shifted rapidly towards the internet.
This
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 essay agrees that individuals now get
information
Use synonyms
 about the world and read books on the Internet without paying any fund
To begin
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 with, it is relatively cheap and convenient to get material online.
This
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 is because one does not have to travel and spend a lot of money before one gets
information
Use synonyms
. With a little cash and a click on their phone or laptop, they get an array of news around the world,
as well as
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 more options of novels to read without stressing themselves.
For example
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, a 2013 study from Cambridge University showed that 80% of citizens prefer reading on their phones and laptops.
Moreover
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, online publication is cheap.
In other words
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, it is cost-effective to publish
information
Use synonyms
 online since no fund is needed to purchase paper, ensure quality info is printed out,
also
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 travel for distribution. With online one can sit in the comfort of his home and post
information
Use synonyms
 on social media and can be seen all around the world.
For instance
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, research conducted in 2014 indicated that hundreds of people spent hours on social media just trying to catch up with the trending news.
To sum up
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, the above data has made us see that, a time will come when society will no longer read on paper but will solely rely on the internet for
information
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Avoid generalized statements without supporting evidence. Though your essay includes examples, further diversifying your evidence strengthens your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors such as 'wiil' instead of 'will' and 'fund' instead of 'funds' or 'money'. These small inaccuracies can make your essay slightly harder to read.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition of words such as 'information', 'online', and 'news'. This will make your essay more engaging to read.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and your stance, providing a clear roadmap for the reader.
Task Achievement
You made a strong argument supported by relevant research studies, which enhances the credibility of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing your argument and leaving the reader with a strong final impression.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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