IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Task 2: Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #adults
Juvenile delinquency is an issue of broad interest to the general public. Some people advocate that the government should impose the same punishments on young offenders as
adult
 lawbreakers. Personally, I partly agree with
this
 point of view. To a certain extent, the juvenile culprits should suffer the consequences differently compared with mature ones. Admittedly, not every adolescent has sufficient intellect. Some young perpetrators take part in illegal acts just because of curiosity, copying adults’ behaviours, or committing a petty crime to escape poverty. And, of course, they do not realize their misdeeds and fully make out the adverse consequences of their offences.
Thus
, giving these juvenile lawbreakers a harsh sentence is deemed not a fair trial.
Nonetheless
, I believe that the young perpetrator should receive the same punishments as do
adult
 criminals. A great number of young people under 18, especially those in rural and mountainous areas, take advantage of the leniency in law to commit a crime. A salient example can be seen in Vietnam; the courts will give felons under 18 a much lighter sentence than that applied to a person aged full 18 years or older who commits the corresponding crime.
Thus
, even at 12-to-15s, many children do not feel fear and continue committing crimes
such
 as stealing, trading, using, and possessing drugs or heroin. While children are our future, they should be deterred by solid measures like
adult
 offenders to soon get off the path of sin. In conclusion, a fitting punishment can act as a deterrent to deter the young from committing crimes. I think that the government should impose light penalties on young offenders, compared with heavier ones of the
adult
 lawbreakers.
Submitted by Hai Linh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: