'Failure is proof that the desire wasn 't strong enough.'To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Everyone has undergone difficult changes and experienced ups and downs in his or her
life
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. It is undoubtedly a normal trend in our
life
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.
However
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, I do not entirely agree that failure is dependent only on someone’s insufficient wish to succeed in a specific area. It does not seem unreasonable to suggest that during the evaluation of
this
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situation
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situation,
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many factors should be counted.
Firstly
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,
life
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circumstances in which are people. Someone,
for instance
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, may have set a goal to launch a business but unexpectedly got married.
This
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case is understandable and does not deserve any blame. One may prefer making a family
while
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another would rather continue going straight to his or her dream. It is an individual choice based on personal preferences and
life
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principles.
On the other hand
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, I agree that failure means the person was not goal-driven and self-disciplined enough.
This
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relates to many cases including a well-known problem with obesity. If a person has decided to lose a certain amount of weight
then
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no obstacles should stop him. He does not have to give any easy or make excuses. In fact, if his goal is not achieved, as a
,
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apply
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result he will not prove to himself he is a strong and motivated human being. It means his wish was not powerful enough. The famous and great people of history have tried many things over and over again and there were lots of
experiment
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experiments
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that were not successful. Failure is not the key measurement of the determination and effort put towards accomplishing something. One could draw the conclusion that everything depends on the individual. A human being may accomplish tremendous results as proof of indescribably powerful motivation or end up without completing fully his task.

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clarification
Focus on ensuring that all examples directly link back to your main points. In the second example about obesity, clarify the connection between failure and desire.
depth-enhancement
Try to integrate more specific examples to support your arguments. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and provide a stronger task response.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively bookend the essay, clearly presenting your perspective.
coherence
The essay maintains a logical flow of ideas, linking your arguments and demonstrating overall coherence.
perspective
You have explored multiple perspectives on the topic, offering a fairly comprehensive response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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