Some say that sports play an important role in the development of society. Others think it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#say #sports #role #development #society #leisure #activity

The popularity of

sports

has increased in our modern

society

. While it is considered an important tool to bring

development

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

, a different view holds that

sports

Change the verb form

are

show examples

just a leisure

activity

This

essay will throw light on both these perspectives,

although

in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

physical

games

play a key role in the

development

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

. A healthy

society

signifies a developed

society

and physical

activities

play a significant role in ensuring a healthy

society

. In modern times, due to increased job pressure, many young people are experiencing a lack of energy in their daily

activities

. Under

such

scenario

Correct article usage

a scenario

show examples

, participating in outdoor

actvities

Correct your spelling

activities

is an alternative to help the youths to feel more

energitic

Correct your spelling

energetic

and lively. Those individuals can better perform in their work environment and bring about more innovations and developments.

Change the article

show examples

multinational company,

for instance

, once reported that employees who indulge in physical

activities

perform better than those who do not.

These

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

consolidates

Change the verb form

consolidate

show examples

our view that

sports

can lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overall

socitial

Correct your spelling

societal

social

development

, highlighting that

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

of the youth influences the health of the country.

Sports

however

encounters

Change the verb form

encounter

show examples

a negative review from a section of people. They believe that it is nothing more than a free

time

activity

. The positives of the

games

are neglected by that population section, who states that the critical

time

lost while participating in

such

events has more

repurcations

Correct your spelling

reputations

reputation

. Considering the fact that today's job requires long term involvement,

sports

should be considered a free

time

activity

For instance

, one CEO highlighted the fact that because employees tend to

Correct your spelling

overindulge

show examples

over indulge

Correct your spelling

overindulge

show examples

in outdoor

activities

, the company is losing precious work hours.

This

opinion, though cannot be neglected,

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

fails to consider the benefits of outdoor

games

. To conclude, different views are held by

various

Add an article

a various

show examples

section

Fix the agreement mistake

sections

show examples

of the people regarding the utility of these physical

games

, but

sports

as a medium of

socitial

Correct your spelling

societal

social

development

cannot be ignored. While

sports

is a leisure

activity

, to diminish its status as only a free

time

activity

is far fetched.

Submitted by biswasnirmalya161 on Thu Aug 12 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Universities should take equal number of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree
It is often seen that there are educational inequalities. There is a debate that the number of students who are enrolled in different institutes should be the same in amount regarding gender for all the subjects. I disagree with this notion and I believe that it is unfair.
4.5
band
In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Children as target audience: Discuss how advertisers often target children due to their influence over their parents' purchasing decisions and their vulnerability due to a lack of critical thinking skills.
5.5
band
The use of electronic has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that the use of technology or appliances has positive sides whereas others do not. However, I am one of the people who think that technology has inevitable drawbacks, particularly in relationships between individuals and I agree with this statement. So in this essay, I will delve into this stance.
5
band
Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?
Food is an essential part of an individual's life. The question of whether local food is more beneficial than packaged food has sparked a huge debate. I completely believe that home grown food is more healthy and cheaper when comapared to packaged food. This essay will illustrate the pros of having local dishes.
7
band
Many people think that successful people’s accomplishments depend on the regions they come from, while other people think that it doesn’t matter where a person comes from, if that person has the will to succeed, he/she will triumph. What do you think?.
There have been debates on whether a person's success is dependent on where they come from or whether their dedication to their objective will always lead them to the top. In my opinion, regardless of where you were born, your ethics and drive to succeed play a significant role in individual performance. This essay will expand on my thoughts on the subject and reach a logical conclusion.

Some say that sports play an important role in the development of society. Others think it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Universities should take equal number of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The use of electronic has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Many people think that successful people’s accomplishments depend on the regions they come from, while other people think that it doesn’t matter where a person comes from, if that person has the will to succeed, he/she will triumph. What do you think?.