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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines

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Introduction
It often
argue
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argues
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 that the use of products, made from animal skin or bodies and
killing
Correct article usage
the killing
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 of
Add an article
an animal
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animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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 for individual's
food
Use synonyms
 should be stopped. Some are keeping opposite opinion. I will discuss both
statement
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statements
show examples
 and conclude in the end.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, Innocent animals are
kiling
Correct your spelling
killing
 to satisfy an individual's
food
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 desire. Non-vegetarian
people
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, like to eat animals in the everyday
food
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 routine and take in their compulsory diet. An increase in the
demand
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 for animal
meat
Use synonyms
 has become a danger in the ecology system.
For example
Linking Words
, the
demand
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 for fish
meat
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, many places in the sea and rivers, some
speices
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species
 of
fishes
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 have been
enter
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entering
entered
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 in endanger because due to increase in
demand
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 for
fishes
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meat
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, even small
fishes
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 are being caught and they can not reproduce. It is utmost necessary to lesser than the particular size of
fishes
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 must be prohibited for fishing.
Body paragraph 2
Further
Linking Words
, thousands of innocent
animal
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animals
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secrefy
Correct your spelling
secrecy
 their lives every year fulfil the
demand
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 of human needs like valets, purses, belts and many other products
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 items made from them are durable and attractive. I believe
,
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apply
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 many
people
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 do not know from which material are being used to
made
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make
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 these items and
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 among the
people
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 can reduce their killing.
Body paragraph 3
Other hand
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Another hand
Other hands
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, there are many
region
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regions
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 in the world where there
are
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is
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 no vegetation possible in the soil like desert,
extream
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extreme
 temperature
that is
Linking Words
 very low or high.
People
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 who are living under
exteam
Correct your spelling
extreme
wheather
Correct your spelling
weather
whether
, they
suvive
Correct your spelling
survive
 on animal
meat
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there
are
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is
show examples
 limited vegetation in the area and can not
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 the
food
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demand
Use synonyms
 through them. There is no harm if we use
animal
Add an article
an animal
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 made from animal skin,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
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 natural dead animal's skin can use
appopriatly
Correct your spelling
appropriately
appropriate
 .
Conclusion
In the conclusion, I would like to say that animals can be used to satisfy the
food
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 requirement but
Add an article
the animal
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animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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 should not
exploited
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be exploited
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 and
Correct your spelling
natural
natual
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the natual
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 ecology system should be maintained. To avoid
over exploitation
Correct your spelling
overexploitation
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,
government
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the government
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 should introduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
laws and spread
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness among inhabitants.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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