In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be outdoors after a particular time at night unless they are with an adult. What is your opinion about this?
In some parts of the US, adolescents are not permitted by their parents to go out after a certain time, unless they are with a grown-up. I totally agree with
this
because it is dangerous for young people to be out late at night
and most of them are irresponsible when it comes to making decisions
.
Children should remain indoors at night
because it is not safe. This
age group is suffering more due to
being more vulnerable than other age groups. While
an adolescent is outside and alone, he will be more vulnerable and easily targeted by a criminal compared with an adolescent who is safe inside the house. For example
, London has seen an increase in the number of stabbing victims aged between 13 to 19 years old and the majority of these age-related crimes are happening during the late hours of the night
.
Adolescents, as young people, with little experience often will end up making irresponsible decisions
. At this
age, their body will go through important hormonal changes, which will make them rush while
making decisions
. Very often they will be unaware of the consequences their actions will have on them and others and make mistakes. That’s why they should be helped by adults during this
process. For example
, Ireland increased the number of police patrols at the weekend in order to deal with the drunk teenagers who thought it was fine to get drunk and cause trouble in the streets, late at night
.
In conclusion, I believe adolescents should not be allowed to go out in the late hours of the night
because they will not be able to protect themselves from danger. The house is a safe place for them to be and it will prevent them from making irresponsible decisions
.Submitted by sandeepniet17 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more diverse examples. Though the examples given were helpful, additional examples from different contexts could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using more connecting words and phrases to link your ideas and paragraphs smoothly. This will help in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and adheres to the topic throughout.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main idea, making the argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay, reinforcing your viewpoint.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite