IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people are happy to spend the whole life living in same place. However, others prefer to live in many areas over their life time. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

#people #life #place #areas #time
In the actual world, we can see both ways of
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 the
life
posibles
Correct your spelling
possible
. It's a matter of what
people
 really like to choose if they want to spend the whole
life
 living in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 same place
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or live in many areas over their
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
. But in my opinion, we need to have a mix of
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
life
, to have a happy one. In the
last
 few years, persons are looking
live
Change preposition
to live
show examples
 in many areas over their
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
 like a reality. Nowadays, with the
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of work remotely, from anywhere, many
people
 are choosing
this
 kind of
life
.
This
 "nomade" style, brings to the persons a sensation of freeness that inspire them, and increase their levels of
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
. Other
people
, take
adventage
Correct your spelling
advantage
 of their works to explore and travel around the world, knowing new places and interacting with different cultures.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
people
 who spend
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 whole
life
 living in the same place, have the chance to plan their
life
 in a better way. Because they always keep their
life
 in the same zone that they already
known
Change the form of the verb
know
show examples
, the
confort
Correct your spelling
comfort
 zone. For some
people
,
this
 kind of
life
, with a sensation of control, bring them all the
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
 they want. In
this
 way, they don't need to move around the world to feel plenty. To conclude, for me both opinions have their advantages and disadvantage. But, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 we can find more
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
 living in many areas over a part
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
, enjoying and discovering new places, cultures and foods. Later at the final
courtain
Correct your spelling
curtain
, spend the rest of the
life
 living in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 same place, the one you found more interesting.
Submitted by ja.rios903 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: