Many young people leave school with a negative attitude toward learning. What are the possible reasons for this? Suggest some solutions to address this problem.

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It has been observed that there is a significant increase in the number of
school
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leavers with a pessimistic attitude. In
this
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essay, some main reasons behind
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phenomenon will be explored, followed by my opinions on it.
To begin
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with, one key contributor to
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problem is the ineffective teaching method which follows one-way communication. It means that teachers play a sole role in leading the class and
students
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approach the knowledge and information in a passive way. To illustrate, a learning section in a Vietnamese class lasts about 4 hours. During
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period,
students
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almost have no contribution to the tutorial, rather than trying to take notes and memorize the content which their teachers are explaining. In fact,
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learning scheme makes them disinterested and bored when participating in the class.
Additionally
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,
school
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pressure
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also
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results in children’s negative experiences. It is well-known that youngsters are always expected to get good grades and achievement in the academic field.
Consequently
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, they have to handle a hectic schedule with a mountain of schoolwork, homework, examinations and other extracurricular subjects. Under
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circumstances, learning becomes a source of stress rather than enjoyment.
This
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is evident in a report from the Vietnamese Ministry of Education and Training which reveals that about 20% of
students
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decide to quit their university because of the heavy workload, particularly, some high
school
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students
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even commit suicide to escape from the daily stress of study routine. To address
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issue, it is required to have comprehensive solutions.
Firstly
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, schools might consider changing their teaching patterns which foster a structured learning environment but
also
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fun and engaging for
students
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.
This
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can be incorporating more project-based programs, digital lessons and two-way interactions into the
school
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curriculum
as well as
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utilizing computerized systems in teaching activities.
This
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can make learning more enjoyable among young people.
Secondly
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, a change in assessment technique is crucial to overcome
this
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problem. Because the
pressure
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of examinations and emphasis on good grades can be overwhelming, incorporating formative assessment or focusing on the whole process
instead
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of just outcomes can alleviate
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pressure
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. In conclusion, teenagers tend to leave
school
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with a negative attitude
due to
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the ineffective teaching approach and
school
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pressure
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. To deal with
this
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matter, it is essential for schools to refresh their teaching regime and the way they assess
students
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’ academic performance.
Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the essay's structure by including a clearer distinction between paragraphs and ensuring a more logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence to make the main idea immediately clear, and use transition words to smoothly connect paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully responds to all parts of the prompt. This includes not only identifying issues but also giving equal emphasis to suggested solutions.
task achievement
Increase the use of specific, real-life examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Incorporating
  • Interactive
  • Project-based learning
  • Overwhelming
  • Formative assessments
  • Alleviate
  • Relevance
  • Disconnect
  • Curriculum
  • Intellectual curiosity
  • Passionate
  • Real-world importance
  • One-size-fits-all
  • Diverse learning styles
  • Personalized learning plans
  • Engaging
  • Disinterest
  • Stressful
  • Meaningful
  • Inspire
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