Some individuals believe that the primary goal of universities should be to provide information and skills for needed for future work. Others however feel that the main objective of universities is to give students access to knowledge for its own values regardless of the information is useful for a job or not. What in your opinions, should be the primary objective of university education?

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some people think that the main point of attention for universities must be preparation for careers in the future

while

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others argue that the key aspect is to gain knowledge just for its own good. Despite the fact that having knowledge is valuable itself, I have to say it is better to keep an eye on what you are aiming to do as a job when you are educating as you need to be sophisticated in one particular subject and life is too short for humans to learn everything. On one hand, the influence of gaining knowledge with its effect on different parts of the brain is noteworthy. It is proven that when you learn anything new, it will engage all parts of the brain helping it develop in other aspects

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For instance

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, learning mathematics is proven to be beneficial in mind comprehension and problem-solving which helps us be reasonable in making other decisions; learning a new language

for example

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would have benefits on being more understanding as it broadens our perspective among various cultures and points of view.

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, it is worth mentioning our limited lifelong when there is a lot of new information in the world to learn and

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every subject has gone deep with lots of new details every day being conducted.

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, to be successful in a specific profession, you have to be a specialist and professional.

consequently

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, that would be time-consuming and need concentration on particular subjects.

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, music career nowadays is separated into many specific objects like arranging, sound engineering, songwriting etc. that each needs a long time to be a master at and

this

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fact would be true for any other profession that exists in today's life. In conclusion,

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learning new stuff is significant for gaining a wide and reasonable point of view, it is best to learn things that have something related to our future plans for our life achievements.

farr.shad.kThu Nov 28 2024

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task achievement

Try to maintain a clear and consistent stance throughout the essay. While you provide arguments for both perspectives, ensure that your own opinion is more explicitly stated and elaborated.

task achievement

Ensure all points are adequately supported with more relevant and specific examples. This will improve clarity and strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Consider using more varied transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Enhance paragraph development by providing more specific details and examples that directly support your main argument.

task achievement

The essay covers both perspectives on the role of universities and presents your opinion, providing a balanced discussion of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have structured the essay well with a clear introduction and conclusion, helping readers understand your main points.

coherence cohesion

The logic behind advocating for job-focused education due to the depth required in specific fields is well-presented.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

employability
specialized courses
internships
practical skills
holistic development
intellectual horizons
critical thinking
creativity
broadening students' intellectual horizons
diverse disciplines
well-rounded individuals
career-ready
intellectually enriched
evolving job market
versatile education system
adaptability
lifelong learning

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