IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is considered by some that environmental issues should be addressed globally,
while
Linking Words
 there are others who believe that it is better to deal with them at the national level.
While
Linking Words
 some may disagree, I am of the opinion that ecological problems should
better be
Correct word order
be better
show examples
 solved nationally within
one
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, many think that if environmental issues are addressed on a global scale, they will be solved more rapidly. International financial investments
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the problem of
one
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 would be beneficial in order to stop issues regarding its ecology.
For instance
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, the
situation
Use synonyms
 in China with air pollution is being addressed worldwide. China plays an important role in the economy of our world
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, it is in the interest of many countries that the ecological
situation
Use synonyms
 is improved as soon as possible.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I strongly advocate the view that the ecological
situation
Use synonyms
 should be addressed within
one
Use synonyms
 nation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if a
country
Use synonyms
 provides more resources to help recover itself from possible ecological threats
instead
Linking Words
 of investing in the safety of other countries, the
situation
Use synonyms
 will improve much faster.
For example
Linking Words
, the wildfire in Australia has been going for a significant amount of time
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it has been addressed globally
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, it has eventually been solved by itself without the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other countries. Another example of
this
Linking Words
 is the current wildfire in Turkey. It has affected the whole
country
Use synonyms
 and hasn’t stopped despite being addressed globally. From my perspective, Turkey should address its powers into their
situation
Use synonyms
 strategically and it will help them recover faster than if it
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 addressed globally.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there is a high chance that, if
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
addressed globally, environmental situations will achieve great results.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that, if addressed strategically at the national level, it will improve way faster.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline both sides of the argument in an equal way before stating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
In body paragraphs, connect your points with clearer linking words or phrases to improve flow.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or details to support your points for better understanding.
structure
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion.
examples
You provided relevant examples to illustrate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • sovereign rights
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • ocean pollution
  • collective measures
  • economic interests
  • political will
  • enforcement issues
  • free-riders
  • tailor-made solutions
  • transboundary pollution
  • resource constraints
  • global frameworks
  • national efforts
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