IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Space exploration is a costly project. The money would be much better spent on reducing social problems. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#space #exploration #project #money
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Presently, many countries have become more attention to
space
Use synonyms
 exploration than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past.
However
Linking Words
,
the projects cost
Change to a genitive case
the cost of the project
the project's cost
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 is expensive. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the government should spend the
money
Use synonyms
 for solving social
problems
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instead
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 of
space
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 exploration projects. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 investigation is
Add an article
a necessity
show examples
necessity
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
, it is my belief that the social
problems
Use synonyms
 need to be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
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 considered.
This
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 essay will outline the reasons for my opinion. There are various reasons to consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 exploration. The
first
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 and most significant is decreasing of natural resources in the world. The reason for
this
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 is the increasing rapidly of population and modern technology, it can
therefore
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that finding extra resources on other planet is one of the solutions.
Although
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 there are numerous reasons for exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
, I consider that
money
Use synonyms
 should be used for solving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
problems
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, some
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 investigation and
space
Use synonyms
 technology are the way to show off their power to other countries.
This
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 leads to spending unnecessary enormous
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 on
space
Use synonyms
 invention.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 face many issues
such
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 as crimes along with lack of food and education in daily life. The most essential of which is
crime
Add an article
a crime
show examples
.
This
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 is mainly due to not have sufficient security
such
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 as lights along the roads and safety
guard
Fix the agreement mistake
guards
show examples
, which leads to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 easily got crimes.
Therefore
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,
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 improving the quality of life and developing their society. In conclusion, while there are arguments both for and against investigating
space
Use synonyms
, I believe that
money
Use synonyms
 is much better spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 declining
problems
Use synonyms
 in countries. Personally, it is my belief that it is essential for the governments should concern about certain
problems
Use synonyms
 which
people
Use synonyms
 face
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
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 time.
Submitted by ploy_41 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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