IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Space exploration is a costly project. The money would be much better spent on reducing social problems. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#space #exploration #project #money
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Presently, many countries have become more attention to
space
 exploration than
the
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in the
show examples
 past.
However
,
the projects cost
Change to a genitive case
the cost of the project
the project's cost
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 is expensive. Some
people
 believe that the government should spend the
money
 for solving social
problems
instead
 of
space
 exploration projects. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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space
 investigation is
Add an article
a necessity
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necessity
Replace the word
necessary
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, it is my belief that the social
problems
 need to be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
 considered.
This
 essay will outline the reasons for my opinion. There are various reasons to consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
space
 exploration. The
first
 and most significant is decreasing of natural resources in the world. The reason for
this
 is the increasing rapidly of population and modern technology, it can
therefore
 some
people
 think that finding extra resources on other planet is one of the solutions.
Although
 there are numerous reasons for exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
, I consider that
money
 should be used for solving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
problems
. Nowadays, some
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 believe that
the
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apply
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space
 investigation and
space
 technology are the way to show off their power to other countries.
This
 leads to spending unnecessary enormous
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 on
space
 invention.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
people
 face many issues
such
 as crimes along with lack of food and education in daily life. The most essential of which is
crime
Add an article
a crime
show examples
.
This
 is mainly due to not have sufficient security
such
 as lights along the roads and safety
guard
Fix the agreement mistake
guards
show examples
, which leads to
be
Change the verb form
being
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 easily got crimes.
Therefore
,
money
 should be spent
for
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on
show examples
 improving the quality of life and developing their society. In conclusion, while there are arguments both for and against investigating
space
, I believe that
money
 is much better spent
for
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on
show examples
 declining
problems
 in countries. Personally, it is my belief that it is essential for the governments should concern about certain
problems
 which
people
 face
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
 time.
Submitted by ploy_41 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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