In many countries, an increase in crime has be blamed on violent images on television and in computer games. To what extend do you agree

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Introduction

In the

last

Linking Words

decade or so, we have seen an alarming rise in crimes throughout different nations. A lot of people believe that aggressive computer

games

Use synonyms

and tv shows contribute to an increase in rates of crimes.I strongly support

this

Linking Words

viewpoint as, it causes behavioural and psychological changes in people of different ages, mostly youngsters.

Body paragraph 1

Video

games

Use synonyms

play an important role in increasing violent behaviours. A victim of these

games

Use synonyms

are

Change the verb form

show examples

usually young children, who spend their out of school time on

this

Linking Words

, which in turn has a negative impact on their behaviour.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

a survey conducted in the Maldives in 2019, after the release of call of duty shows that there has been an increasing number of bullying and aggressive behaviour at school in the past few years. Surely because they copy what they see on television which contributes to these changes.

Body paragraph 2

Moreover

Linking Words

the new trend in television series, the violent crime genre has

also

Linking Words

caused mental and psychological changes in adults as well. A lot of t images are shared on social media and many people are desensitised due to

this

Linking Words

For example

Linking Words

Add a comma

show examples

it’s reported that after the introduction of television series money heist , there has been an increased number of reported break-ins.

Conclusion

To summarise, even though many

such

Linking Words

programmes and

games

Use synonyms

are made to profit the respected companies and corporations, it has a lot of adverse effects on the community as a whole. The mental well being of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society should be protected,

hence

Linking Words

awareness programs and proposals should be made public, for a better community.

f.lamiea

Aug 15, 2021

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

correlation
aggressive behavior
desensitization
copycat effect
media literacy
violent imagery
scapegoat
media consumption
psychological impact
content rating
parental supervision
media influence
computer games
behavioral studies
socio-economic factors

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