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Band 4.5

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions
The higher remuneration of the
sportsmen
 has always been a popular topic for debate as some believe that
people
 across other fields
also
 contribute the same effort but end up being paid less while the rest believe it’s worth their talent. I would have to
vouch
Add the preposition
forvouch
show examples
 my support to the former group as I feel that there are other areas where
people
 put in the same or more effort and
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
that is
 mostly overshadowed by the sports industry. It is widely agreed that being a successful sportsperson would require a lot of character,
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and physical fitness that needs to be maintained throughout the career. Until their retirement they
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
 have the freedom to yield to their tastebuds, party like an animal or give their bones some rest. It can’t be denied that apart from their own achievements they
also
 play for their country’s pride. The football players are an apt example for
such
 a scenario where they go through a tough diet and discipline to play for their representative clubs as well as for their country and
hence
 are paid a hefty salary.
Furthermore
, the earning period of an athlete would not
last
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
 as they retire very early during their career. Despite all these factors
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 it’s not fair to pay
sportsmen
 more than the
people
 putting in more or less the same efforts in the other sectors. There are many
such
 fields where the contributors deserve to be paid more than the
sportsmen
, like soldiers dedicating their lives guarding the country’s borders, scientists working hard to explore things to improve human life, etc. A very good instance of
such
 a scenario would be the doctors and the frontline workers who risked their lives during the pandemic trying to save the infected patients. Still, they were not paid a higher salary as compared to the
sportsmen
.
Hence
 I conclude that
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 there is an explicit effort and dedication put forth by the sportsperson, they should not be paid more than the
people
 who commit their life and
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 towards their own domain.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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