Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do the advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages?

It is quite common these days that young
people
are much influenced by peer
pressure
. It is my belief that the positive effects of
this
phenomenon could overshadow the drawbacks. On the one hand, there are several demerits of
this
pressure
. First of all, the most potent reason for
this
would be the loss of individuality. As the
pressure
leads to stifling personal expression, some young
people
may ignore their own preferences and interests, which confirms their personal identity development.
As a result
, they are more likely to lose their individual thinking ability, which hinders personal development.
In addition
, increased levels of stress and anxiety might be another disadvantage of
this
circumstance;
this
is because not only do they mislay their ability to improve their self-esteem, but they
also
are unlikely to reduce their stress and anxiety. Case in point, constantly trying hard to achieve their friends' standards, which can be higher than theirs, can create anxiety. Students,
therefore
, might become restless, contributing to burnout. Young
people
, in turn, face a high level of overwhelm.
On the other hand
, in spite of these negative sides, the effects of peer
pressure
can bring about crucial benefits as well. One obvious advantage is positive reinforcement for good
habits
. When youngsters are surrounded by
people
who possess better health
habits
,
such
as studying, exercising, and avoiding negative activities, they might be influenced by them and adopt these useful
habits
themselves. The more communication young individuals have together, the more opportunities they have to improve their social skills.
As a consequence
, it gives them an opportunity to create better
habits
themselves, which will be advantageous for their future lives.
Furthermore
, another primary merit is that young
people
with feelings of loneliness may find companionship among peers. Taking a clear example, if a young student goes to an interest-based group, like
music
Correct article usage
a music
show examples
club or volunteer organization, they have a chance to meet their peers and get a sense of belonging during their performances, reducing feelings of isolation among their fellows.
This
support system,
hence
, can be a significant factor in their emotional well-being.
To sum up
,
while
the main merits of feeling pressured among peers are a more advantageous factor, the drawbacks of
this
phenomenon cannot surpass its positive sides.
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task achievement
To enhance the task achievement, try to present more specific examples that illustrate both the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve the overall cohesion of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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