There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities and only the government can solve this problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#consequences #shortages #cities #government

At present, several countries have a serious social problem about a lack of residence in

city

towns, and they believe only the administration can improve it. As

this

Change preposition

for this

show examples

statement, I totally agree with it because the

government

can operate the policy to expand jobs to rural areas, and They can develop countrysides to

Add a missing verb

be more

show examples

convenient to live in.

Firstly

, one of the reasons why I agree is the administration can operate the policy to the extent

Remove the article

apply

show examples

employment

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outside the

cities

. Japanese's

government

, for

exaple

Correct your spelling

example

, they are able to stop a huge number of people to

move

Change preposition

show examples

the

cities

. Because they reduce the tax imposed on the companies which are relocated in the rural areas.

Therefore

, many

factor

Change to a plural noun

factors

show examples

move

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

outside the

cities

. From

this

result, young generation

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

the job in their hometown.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

they do not need to

move

into the capital

city

. It can decrease the issue

about

Change preposition

show examples

housing shortages.

Secondly

, to reduce

Correct article usage

the

show examples

lack of

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

, the

government

can solve

this

trouble by increasing facilities for more

convenient

Replace the word

convenience

show examples

countrysides

Correct article usage

the countrysides

show examples

. Based on my country, a large number of people relocate to the capital

city

which is Bangkok because they require

Remove the article

apply

show examples

ease of transport. The

government

solve

this

issue by increasing public transportations

such

as buses, local taxies, subway and so on. From

this

result, people who desire to

move

into Bangkok change their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

so, a lack of housing in

city

Add an article

the city

show examples

is lesser than before. In conclusion, the trouble of home shortages in the downtown can be improved by only the

government

. In my opinion, I absolutely agree with it because they can operate the policy to extend the employment to rural areas, and they can develop outside the

cities

Add a missing verb

be more

show examples

convenient.

Submitted by ramonthapat on Tue Aug 17 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities and only the government can solve this problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In today's world many own a smart phone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages.

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? #consequence #care #people #life #expectancy

number of children who drop the scool is increasing in some countries.what are the reasons and solutions to overcome this problem.

Developed countries have created many environmental problems in the world, particularly in their contribution to global warming. Why is global warming a problem? What can be done to reduce the danger of global warming?