Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

#people #happiness #money #factors

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It is argued that the term

happiness

is different for individuals. One of the most important

factors

happiness

money

. Everything is motivated by

money

that is

a really simple key but

essential

Add an article

an essential

show examples

factor. I completely agree with that, we are undeniable If don’t have enough

money

, we can not buy fundamental items. In

this

essay I will focus on the discussion about

money

is the most important condition to get easily cheerfulness.

Firstly

money

can buy other fundamental

factors

including foods, accommodations, clothes, and medications. There affected by human quality of

life

?There are the most principal

factors

that are desired by humans.

However

, when people get completely about fundamental

factors

they will get

happiness

soon. It is a natural

life

of humans.

Therefore

, a poor person that can not reach some essential

factors

may be less happy than a rich person.

Moreover

, basic satisfactions depend on people can reach the fundamental

factors

Secondly

, financial stability is equally stable in their

life

. Successful of their occupation and business is a

second

step to getting easily

happiness

. More

money

can respond to their needs or luxury goods that include vehicles, luxury foods and brand name goods.

Consequently

, financial stability is important to get easier stability in

life

and sustainable

happiness

Thirdly

money

is not only making

happier

Correct pronoun usage

you happier

show examples

with

you

Correct pronoun usage

yourself

show examples

but only make

happiness

with

others

around

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

you. Most people spend

money

with

others

to take a little opportunity with someone.

For instance

, donate for orphans or animals.

In addition

happiness

is occurred by indirectly ways from

others

. In conclusion,

happiness

is around with as well as

money

is only one of the

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

that can get easier

happiness

Money

can help

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

have a higher quality of

life

, get a more convenient

life

and receives indirectly

happiness

from

others

Submitted by ploypanut on Tue Aug 17 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

300 words

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Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some employers involve employees in the decision-making process of products and services. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

ln the future, it seems it would be more difficult to live in the North. Some people think more money should be spent researching other panels to live such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?