IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#developments #lives #people
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There is no doubt that some earlier advances in technology have been very influential,
such
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 as those related to technology around the home. Devices
such
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 as washing machines, fridges and freezers, central heating, microwaves and televisions were invented many years ago, and now nearly every household has all or some of these in their home, making life much easier. Though they have been improved over time, they still carry out much the same purpose as when they were first invented. Another example is that of medicine. Despite the fact that there have been ground-breaking recent medical
developments
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,
such
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 as that connected to research into genes and stem cells, the benefits to the average person are still many years away. The most influential impacts on health have been earlier technological
developments
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 of the past, which remain today. These are the ability to treat so many injuries and diseases and carry out organ transplants in hospitals. It is these that have benefits on so many lives and will for decades to come.
However
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, if we look at some more recent
developments
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, they have had a much greater influence than in the past.
For instance
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, there is the phone, which was a significant development when invented
helping
Wrong verb form
to help
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 many people.
However
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,
although
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 invented many years ago, technological
developments
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 over the
last
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 few decades have enabled the phone to
now
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apply
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be mobile and connected to the internet.
This
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 has had incredible impacts on the way people
Iive
Correct your spelling
Live
 their lives with people using phones for so many everyday activities and for connecting around the world. In conclusion, I would argue that
although
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 some older technological
developments
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 are important, some new ones are too. The impacts on ordinary people’s lives
therefore
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depends
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depend
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 on the type of technology in question.
Submitted by aujlaprabh004 on

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coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The use of examples and supporting details strengthens the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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